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Transcripts For KPIX The 20240702

To your litigation. Like habeas boinkus, if it teases the court, missionary deposition, and proboner. Youll bang your gavel so hard hell need to take a five minute recess. Ill be watching. Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight. Eye of the stormy. Plus, stephen welcomes Tiffany Haddish and Meredith Scardino featuring louis cato and the late show band. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert [cheers and applause] stephen splendid. Thank you very much youre very kind. Please have a seat, everybody. Welcome. Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, one and all. Down here, up there, out there, to the late show. Im your host, Stephen Colbert. It was an ....

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Transcripts For KPIX The 20240702

Not qualified to be the president of the United States, a president who was trying to buddy up with putin. Every time he was in the same room with him, he got weak in the knees. A president who was confused when he said that biden was going to run us into world war ii. Trump has gotten more unstable and unhinged. Thinskinned and easily distracted. Chaos follows him. Hes never known how to sacrifice and the most harm hes ever possibly had is getting hit by a golf when hes sitting in a golf cart. Thats the truth. Im nikki haley, and i will be voting for a convicted criminal. Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight. The stoned age plus, stephen welcomes Chris Hemsworth and james dyson featuring louis cato and the late show band. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its
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Transcripts For KPIX The 20240702

Absolutely. Its a scam. Its a scam. Thats not a trial. He shamed Martha Stewart for not testifying. She has to get up on the stand and she has to say i didnt do it. Im innocent. He said he would testify himself. I love testifying. I tell the truth. I mean, all i can do is tell the truth. But then his lawyers gave him some advice. A quiet aboutface. [farting] announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight. Bed bad and beyond plus, stephen welcomes Anya Taylorjoy and second gentleman Douglas Emhoff featuring louis cato and the late show band. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its Stephen Colbert [cheers and applause] stephen hey have a lovely show. Please have a seat ....

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Transcripts For KPIX The 20240703

Stephen hello. What is the latest news . Really . She is dating travis kelce . . Wht else have i missed . The wga strike is over . Artificial intelligence can be used but cannot be crediteted aa writer or be a source of literary material. That makes sense. Why did that take five months . When does the show start again . Tonight . I am 2700 nautical miles from broadway. No time to waste. To. Sullivan. Lets go. Faster. Yes. I am good with the water. Okay. I think we have sold the idea that i am in the ocean. Thank you, friends. Stay. Keep him moist. I have a show to do. You cant park a dolphin h here announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert. Tonight. Right back at you first, stephen welcomes. Neil Degrasse Tyson and lewis kato. Featuring louis cato and the late show band. And now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, its
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Transcripts For KPIX The 20240703

[squeakingng] really . Shes dating travis kelce . I think this is the one. So what else have e i missed . D . [squeaking] the wga strike is over but how did they deal with the ai issue . Oh, i see. Artificial intelligence can be used but itcant be credited as a writer or be a source of literary material . That makes sense. Why did that take five months . So when does the show start again . [h[highpitched squealing] tonight . but im 2700 nautical miles from broadway. There is no time to waste. To the ed sullivan lets go faster okay, hit a few waves. Yes. Oh, thats enough. Im good with the water. Okay. [laughs] i think we have solved the ida that im in the ocean. Thats good. Yeehaw whoa [groans] thank you, friend. Stay. Keep him moist. Ive got a show to do. Hey you cant park a dolphin here. Announcer its the late show with Stephen Colbert tonight. First, stephen welcomes Neil Degra ....

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