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Tuue Tuue Feta Feta


A foot-beat assignment is the quintessential best and worst job in my business.
You make hundreds of contacts that help you, amuse you, and make your life productive and fun.
However, the downside is, you get to arrest the same 87 drunks, idiots, and petty criminals over and over, every day, every night, rain or shine.
Going to the “Chapel”
One afternoon, my partner Mark  and I got called into the “Chapel” at Mission Station to see the senior lieutenant.
It was known as the Chapel, because while you were standing inside, you’d always be praying silently under your breath, not knowing if you had screwed up big time, were getting a no-win assignment, or were being tasked to “run an errand” for the District Command Staff. ....

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Bean Bag Boat


The Gods must love technology!
At least the ones that politicians, liability lawyers, political activists and bureaucrats pray to that is.
I took my oath of office shortly after the invention of fire, but before the Wheel 2.0 was patented by Ogg the first Silicon Valley billionaire.
I got my first can of MACE that same day.
It was later to be “upgraded” to a hot-pepper-orange-colored spray with a practical reach of about 6-feet, and an effectiveness of stopping Nitwit-the-armed druggie of about 5%.
(Cops indulge in all sort of non-city sanctioned activities, but I have VISUAL evidence of that spray being used during a Squad BBQ luncheon as a condiment on roasted pig parts.) ....

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