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FOXNEWSW Gutfeld July 5, 2024



so wonderful! yes! i love you, too. happy wednesday, everyone. remember those stories you hear about a firefighter who sets a fire so he can ride in and save the day, but instead the house burns down? that reminds me of joe and the border. he torches the border and now we are supposed to trust the same guy who started this raging blaze to put it out. it s like believing o.j. when he said he was going to find his wife s killer. tyrus: he s still looking. greg: he is. do we give more matches and gas or look for someone with a fire extinction and a pulse? that s the question joe biden asked america yesterday during a speech that reminded me of winston churchill. primarily because winston churchill is also dead. all indications are this bill won t even move forward to the senate floor. why? a simple reason. donald trump. because donald trump thinks it s bad for him politically. he d rather weaponize this issue and actually solve it. they said no because they re afra ....

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FOXNEWS Gutfeld July 7, 2024



we all member the letter politico publisher the 2020 election that dismissed the hunter laptop story as a russian disinformation? by the way we said we all remember i don t include the president. [laughter] the letter was crafted right after they are posted published the piece on the laptop which hunter had dropped off at a computer repair shop and then abandoned it like it was his child. it is true. it s a baby with the stripper. [laughter] wrecks not that there s anything wrong with that. thirty-six not at all tyrus. oops, i know the feeling my parents did that with me at the highway rest stops. i made so many new friends. that joke makes no sense and i do not care. the hard drive containing tons of stuff concerning biden s business dealings as well as all sorts of sorted or in cats viewed romantic videos of hunter doing drugs and hookers. in not always in that order but miraculously this letter appeared to save jo s day and boy did it. the story was blacklisted by ....

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FOXNEWS Gutfeld June 4, 2024 23:03:00

Commercials commercials with sad dogs. [laughter] was her all staunch dogs by the way. but in case he croaks were stuck with this. cracks those it diagrams those three circles, venn diagrams, venn diagrams, venn diagrams. i love a venn diagrams. their circles right? three usually. [laughter] this excerpt venn diagram is stupid and really stupid. since then of course the laptop story than your post has been vindicated like joe biden s sphincter it was too late. [laughter] i do not even know what that means. but we had to wonder how did that letter come about? why were so called intel expert so happy to dismiss something they did not bother to investigate. last night brett bear the host of special report and also my personal masseuse acted one of ....

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CNN The History of Comedy December 5, 2021 03:48:00

Because i ve done it a couple times, you know, that s kind of a tough room. even though his poll numbers are at an historic low, the speaker is writing another book. once again, he s taking a $1 advance. not voluntarily, that s the most he could get. they re as uptight as a group can be. you can do whatever you want to open a sphincter, all right, it s not going to happen. in washington, there are people who live to be offended. comedians don t live to be offended. they live to offend. hosting the white house correspondents dinner was the most scared i ve ever been as a performer with the exception of my first appearance on the letterman show. mr. president, you remember when the country rallied around you in hopes of a better tomorrow? that was hilarious. that was your best one yet. jordan and i were just like, this is not fair. ....

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FOXNEWS Gutfeld June 4, 2024 03:53:00

Control. greg, that is not true. your body consists of skeletal, smooth, and cardiac muscles. skeletal is the stuff you can control. so think fingers, biceps, facial muscles. forget that last group if you are nancy pelosi. so it s more than just a few. it s more than just a few like you said. however, you are partially right. you are actually sitting on two types of sphincters. which i m sure you re thrilled about. i believe you are referring to the external sphincter, which is under conscious control. the internal was involuntary smooth muscle and like your intestines, you can t control that. so if you could only learn to control your mouth, you might make fewer mistakes. greg: says the guy who is running on right now. how dare you serve. you paid me to be here. i m doing my job. but we do have to move on. emily, how are you? emily, this one is for you and greg. but let s hear emily what you ....

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