Sideswipe: February 15: Dear Melbourne…
14 Feb, 2021 04:00 PM
3 minutes to read
How to train your cat 1. My cat will open the tray to my Xbox when he thinks I ve been playing too long. Even if I have just started.
2. I take baths with my cat by letting her float in a plastic box. I keep the box in my closet. I only started doing this about a month ago, but now when I turn the bathwater on she runs to the closet and jumps in her box.
3. I talk to myself constantly so my cat thinks it s normal to walk around making chatty noises all the time. If he s awake, he s talking. I think it s adorable but it drives my husband nuts, which has resulted in my husband yelling at him a lot (don t worry, the cat doesn t get upset). Now the cat thinks that s just how my husband talks, so whenever he sees him he yells at him really loudly in order to imitate him. My husband will walk in the room and my cat will stop whatever he s doing and just meow SO LOUDLY right in his fac
Sideswipe: February 12: Making dinner is a real scream
10 Feb, 2021 06:43 PM
3 minutes to read
The horror of the bathroom scales If you ve ever stepped on the bathroom scales, then managed to glimpse their evil numbers, her s what to do next:
Step one: Pick up the scales and wrap them in a towel. The horrendous numbers you saw on the scale must be hidden. So, like when the kids threw Jumanji in the river, wrap the numbers so you can no longer see them, and more importantly, they cannot see you.
Step two: Begin a month-long hike into the darkest forest you can find. Find an area of deep forest. Germany is good. Take the most complicated path you can find. Go in circles, through rivers, underground. If possible, abseil. All these movements will disorientate the scales so they cannot find their way home.
Sideswipe: Our Sam s murder plot
8 Feb, 2021 04:00 PM
2 minutes to read
Flat out
An insight from Kiwi actor Sam Neill when he played General John MacArthur in the TV adaptation of Agatha Christie s And Then There Were None.
Did you know. 1. Juli Briskman gave the finger to a motorcade carrying Donald Trump when he was President. Trump was so angry he demanded that she be fired, and she was.
She was so angry she decided to run for office and defeated the local Republican candidate.
2. Out of 30,000 known edible crops, only 170 crops are grown on a commercially significant scale today and just 3 staple crops (rice, wheat & maize) provide 40 per cent of our daily calories intake.