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Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20131026

Well, then si have to assume the new hat is a neon mesh and secured with a ball gag. All right, jim, lets see this new girlie hatas trophy next to the current deny. Oh, o my god, look at that i just cannot tell which one is the new one. laughter which one oh, its the one on the right, the one on the right, yeah, hate those. Its so feminine, im just ovulating looking at them. laughter this hat might as well be made of tampons and copies of eat, pray, love. I mean those two inches of extra brim is the difference between marine and maureen. Now sure, the department of defence says the proposed hat is based on the one worn by world war i hero and two time medal of honor winner Sergeant Major dan daley. What does that guy know about being manly. Hes wearing two necklaces and a broach. All that is missing is the matching earrings. Mark my words, folks. Next obama will have the army rangers in barratts and dress the navy up in little sai ....

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20131025

New reports that without make our already icy relationship with the yes of pakistan colder than a witchs frozen dessert treat kick. Two influential human right groups are out with stooeting human rights about u. S. Drone strikes overseas the groups claim more civilians have been killed in pakistan than the u. S. Has acknowledged. The new Prime Minister is to the going to be very happy about all of this. Jon oh, im sorry, pakistan. I didnt know you didnt like your citizens being sk skyssasinatted on the whims of a foreign superpoer with. We thought you were cool. laughter i guess its unfortunate but good thing is i guess we can just lay low for a while and just get back if touch with pakistan when the wounds arent so fresh, you know. Tonight pakistans prime nawaz sharif is at the white house for his first facetoface meeting with president obama. laughter jon awkward. laughter boy, thats the sort of meeting where you really need old ....

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