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Transcripts For KNTV The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20240712

Jimmy seriously, you know legendary roots crew we are in crazy times when the secret Service Needs protection from the president it is the tonight show at if you are worried about trumps safety, dont. Home edition hes fine. And now here is jimmy. While the agents are quarantined, trump will be guarded by eric and don jr. Using a pair of spongebob walkietalkies jimmy hi everybody and welcome to the tonight show. Thank you so much for watching it is thursday which basically means its friday, really. Right . Can you hear me . So, we made it through another week yeah. I am right next to you. Okay. Im so happy to anyone that is home and staying safe and wearing the masks and to anyone who is suffering with this awful pandemic well, a lot of people are blaming the Trump Administration for mishandling the virus. But not everything has gone wrong, right i wish you a speedy, spee ....

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Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20240712

Display over mt. Rushmore. New drizzle sauces from best foods so i guess my only question is, july 3rd were on the side of food. I know hes dumb, but does he really think the fourth of july is on the third of july. I can just see him hanging if yoyoull get 2 noyears or 20,000 miles from best foods around punxsutawney the day before groundhog day of scheduled carefree maintenance. Well, this rat is not coming 3 years or 36,000 miles of 24 7 roadside assistance. Out at all so i guess winters canceled . President trump claimed yesterday he had brought back 4 years or 50,000 miles bumpertobumper limited warranty. The lobster and fishing industry in maine after former president obama destroyed it and added, 5 years of connected services. Quote, enjoy your lobstering and fishing. And for 6 years you wont have paid any interest. Make lots of money. Okay, whats with the quotes around lobstering . Down the road, youll be grateful you sound like a fox news you bought a volkswagen today. Anchor t ....

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Transcripts For WCAU Late Night With Seth Meyers 20180201

State of the Union Address last night. And i have to say, he did all white. [ laughter ] i mean, look at em. I havent seen old white guys that happy since the last tom clancy book signing. [ laughter ] yup, President Trump gave his state of the Union Address last night. And Bernie Sanders hasnt looked this unhappy since since the last time we saw Bernie Sanders. [ light laughter ] after the state of the union, President Trump was caught on a hot mic yesterday saying he plans to release a controversial memo about fbi surveillance. Incidentally, hot mic is something this man has never been called. [ laughter ] you mean hot mike . No, not him. Following the s ....

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Transcripts For KNTV Late Night With Seth Meyers 20180201

State of the Union Address last night. And i have to say, he did all white. [ laughter ] i mean, look at em. I havent seen old white guys that happy since the last tom clancy book signing. [ laughter ] yup, President Trump gave his state of the Union Address last night. And Bernie Sanders hasnt looked this unhappy since since the last time we saw Bernie Sanders. [ light laughter ] after the state of the union, President Trump was caught on a hot mic yesterday saying he plans to release a controversial memo about fbi surveillance. Incidentally, hot mic is something this man has never been called. [ laughter ] you mean hot mike . No, not him. Following the s ....

United States , New York , District Of Columbia , South Korea , Angel Seth , David Thibodaux , Sarah Mclachlan , Johnny Appleseed , Riggins Seth , Bob Corker , Ted Cruz , Kim Jong , Carson Daly , Glenn Howerton , Maggie Haberman , Seth Meyers , Huckabee Sanders , Rachel Maddow , Rockefeller Plaza , Peter Alexa , Dylan Mcdermott , Chuck Schumer , Patton Oswalt , Hillary Clinton , Dakota Johnson , John Mclaughlin ,