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it was years of work. not everybody had the same result. sean, when did you realize you were gay? at the age of 6 i realized i was different from other boys, and it wasn t until later on i associated the word with that. i was ten. growing up gay in illinois wasn t easy for sean o donald. his catholic parents were loving but the kids at school weren t. i had a very low se-esteem. i hated myself. he was born again and joined a church. how important was religion? the top of my list. i mean, i went to church four or five times a week. i was always at church. mission strips, bible groups. if you re gay you believe you re going to held. right. it was too much. he started cutting himself, ateched suicide and finally at 18 he came out to his pastor. did you feel like he was angry at you? no, no, he was very ....
Compassionate with the understanding i needed help. he was refered to a local ex-gay organization. i thought i would go a couple days without being attracted to men but then i would have a sexual slipup so i thought i m failing again. five years into therapy sean hit a low point and again, tried to kill himself. desperate he moved to california and joined a live-in program for gay men trying to become straight. very controlling environment. we went to work. after we got home, we had dinner together. we didn t go places alone, other than to work and back. we were in groups of two and three. sundays we went to church together. we had curfews. sean was totally committed to the program. the first year i was great, this is i ll make it. this is what i needed and, you know, then i had a slip with one ....
Of the guys in the house. the next day sean drove into san francisco and had a one-night stand with a man. you know what? that was it. i was done. i had given it the good old college try and decided i was going to come out again. this is blunt but i m curious, do you like girls now? i love my wife. i m attracted to my wife. we ve been married for nine years. are any feelings towards men still within you? do you feel like it could come out again? again, i don t think i ll ever be as if i never was. i m human. i could be tempted by a homosexual thought that doesn t go away. it hasn t gone away 100% with me. do you think programs like exodus can work with some people? no. sean is back working as a high school science teacher. he s been living as an openly gay man for six years. ....