cause my sex is the best [ cheers and applause ] i have really good sex moves that i learned in china im a sexual tiger and i feed on vagina growl vagina, vagina i want to have sex with your vagina vagina, vagina what time is it . Its vagina thank you, new york [ cheers and applause ] thanks for coming out. Ow [ cheers and applause ] captions by vitac www. Vitac. Com from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. cheers and applause jon welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. My guest i think youll enjoy George Stephanapolous will be joining us. Mr. Stephanapolous will be out here in a little bit. Well talk to him very briefly because hes got to be up in like two hours. Big news from vatican city tonight. Pope benedict xvi announcing he is stepping down as leader of the catholic church. Jon popes can do that . I assumed the papacy was like a lifetime commitment like being in the mob or being a correspondent on 60 minutes. I
From comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. cheers and applause jon welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. My guest i think youll enjoy George Stephanapolous will be joining us. Mr. Stephanapolous will be out here in a little bit. Well talk to him very briefly because hes got to be up in like two hours. Big news from vatican city tonight. Pope benedict xvi announcing he is stepping down as leader of the catholic church. Jon popes can do that . I assumed the papacy was like a lifetime commitment like being in the mob or being a correspondent on 60 minutes. In any case well bring you full Team Coverage of the popes resignation in holy quit. How is it going with that popey changey thing . Now, the pope has issued a statement citing the growing toll of his advanced age leaving him ill suited for his ministry. But popes usually dont retire until they are called back to the home office. This hasnt happened in 600 years. The o
Nah, youre scared. You got you got lady balls. [hangs up, dial tone] [beep] hello . Im calling about the peridot earrings. Yes, maam theyd look good on your dead body. Why dont you kill yourself . All right. Thats that. That theres the the straw that broke the camels back. I got a gun right here. What do you think about that . Put it against your temple and pull the trigger. [gun clicks] [gunshot] [microphone feedback] from comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. cheers and applause jon welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. My guest i think youll enjoy George Stephanapolous will be joining us. Mr. Stephanapolous will be out here in a little bit. Well talk to him very briefly because hes got to be up in like two hours. Big news from vatican city tonight. Pope benedict xvi announcing he is stepping down as leader of the catholic church. Jon popes can do that . I assumed the papacy was like a lifetime commitment like being
Come on. We came in with one more thing in our pockets. Um. I dont know what you guys are talking about. I did a semester at bart, so im a pretty good writer. So the yelp review im gonna write about this place is gonna be scathing. His word choice is brilliant. Youre idiots. Leave now. Give me my cocaine or im gonna have a spaz attack so do you guys have, like, good memories . Or. [cracks neck] bummer. Bruckenhiemer, shawn, you are free to go. [both laugh] thank you, daddy. [bleep] you [bleep] you [bleep] you [bleep] you eat my [bleep]. Okay . [laughs] good at bizness. From comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. cheers and applause jon welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. My guest i think youll enjoy George Stephanapolous will be joining us. Mr. Stephanapolous will be out here in a little bit. Well talk to him very briefly because hes got to be up in like two hours. Big news from vatican city tonight. Pope benedict xv
Then they held a hearing. You know what . Taxpayers paid for all of this, people. Strangely, no one seems too angry about it. We know laws are important. They should not replace common sense. It feels like the world is becoming more and more lat ijous every day. You may laugh at a story like this. If you think about the bigger problem it represents, it really gets your goat. Anderson cooper 360 starts now. Good evening, everyone. Breaking news. No shortage of compelling stories. Unwitting, unknowing womans face being used in a con. Well talk to diane omeara and what it was like to have no connection to manti teo but be known as his fictitious girlfriend. First, we begin with breaking news. A military story that could seriously alter the political battlefield perhaps for decades to come. Cnn has learned that tomorrow defense secretary leon panetta will open the door to women serving in combat units. It wont happen all at once. There will be certain limitations. For the first time in lon