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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240711

Show with Trevor Noah Trevor okay. Before we get into the serious news, i wanted to kick things off with an adorable story that will almost definitely be turned into a secondrate Christmas Special next year. Well, it may just be new yorks unofficial new holiday mascot. A small owl found inside the Rockefeller Christmas tree tree. A worker found it tucked away in the branches. Its a small bird called a saw wood owl, the smallest in the northeast, recovering at the ravens beard wildlife center. Its getting lots of love and attention and has its own twitter page. Very nice, and its own little turtleneck, too. Trevor oh my god can we take a second to appreciate how frickin cute this owl is . Baby yoda probably put a hit on him as we speak. Hes so cute, i want one. I want to go get a little owl right now. Aaahhh ....

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240711

Owls are not pets. But, still, what a fun story, an owl hitched a ride to new york city although i guess it looks different if youre an owl. From the owls perspective, we moved his house. One night hes living in the woods, next morning hes paying manhattan rent. Hes used to snacking on field mice but in new york the only thing to hunt are the rats which are ten times the size of that owl. The rat will be saying, just to be clear, whos eating who . I dont like the idea of getting the owl a twitter account. We like him now. Once we start riding the tweets, wow, owl lives matter . Unfollow lets move on to Donald Joe Biden beat my ass trump. None of his legal efforts to undo the election have been working, so now hes trying a different approach. You might remembert that, yesterday, two republican Election Officials in michigan tried to throw out votes from the entire city o ....

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240711

Thanksgiving turkey, and bill gates joins me on the show so lets do this people welcome to the daily social distancing show. From trevors couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with Trevor Noah Trevor okay. Before we get into the serious news, i wanted to kick things off with an adorable story that will almost definitely be turned into a secondrate Christmas Special next year. Well, it may just be new yorks unofficial new holiday mascot. A small owl found inside the Rockefeller Christmas tree tree. A worker found it tucked away in the branches. Its a small bird called a saw wood owl, the smallest in the northeast, recovering at the ravens beard wildlife center. Its getting lots of love and attention and has its own twitter page. Very nice, and i ....

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240712

New york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. Trevor lets kick things off with the tore that everyone is talking about. Mitch mcconnells hands. This was terrifying. What the hell happened . You see his hand . Guy looks like he was them wrestling a raccoon. Whats going on with that color . Looks like he was thinking about doing blackface but decided to start slowly. One hand at a time. Didnt say anything about black hand. Mcconnell says hes fine and has no medical condition to be worried about. So that shits just like normal i guess. Im glad hes fine but i guess that means his hands patchily look like a banana that fell under the fridge two months ago. Makes it taste sweeter, maaa. Last night was the second and final president ial debate of all time no, of this election. And Donald Trumps last president ial at the bait ever until 2024 because, no matter what happens, w ....

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Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240712

Guillermo and i spent the last couple of weeks phone banking for the lakers so we hope they pull this out. Going home to watch the game . Guillermo yes. Jimmy any other plans for the weekend . Guillermo nothing. Jimmy nothing . Guillermo going to my spinning class. Jimmy oh, right. Guillermo yes. Jimmy why do you do that when you say spinning class . Guillermo because i cannot do this. Jimmy okay, all right. Oh, yeah. You know, youve been posting pictures of that, right . Guillermo yeah, thats right. Jimmy do the people in the class know youre taking pictures of their butts and posting them on tv . Guillermo no, no. Jimmy okay, all right. Well all right. I want to look at well look through some of those pictures. Guillermo all right. Jimmy i like to 1 2 watch you sweat. Whichever team won tonight will most certainly not visit the white house, thats for sure. Our super spreader president doesnt need visitors, hes getting ready to hit the road, spreading covid wherever he goes like donni ....

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