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COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart March 1, 2013

Just going at and jesus was behind going, yeah daddy, yeah look at my ting ting, daddy [laughter applause continues] and god was like, calm down. Jesus christ. [laughter and applause] its beautiful. You know what i mean . But what happened to the penis. Was god in a rush that day . Was he outta time . The penis is the ugliest thing in the world. Its like he had a handful of clay and they were like, hey god, we need something for the dudes quick. He was like dah, i [laughter and applause] the penis is the ugliest thing in the world. The vagina makes an ent when you pull the panties down it makes an entrance like, [southern drawl] ooh hi. Where you have been . The penis, you pull the underwear down its like a drunk friend falling out of a car just [laughter, cheers, whistles and applause] thats my time, ladies and gentlemen. Im jo koy. Captioning made possible by Comedy Central productions. Captioned by mccaptioning services www. Mc ....

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COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart March 1, 2013

With my confidence to hire me at his company . Hi. Ash. Whats your name . Im ash hamid. Nice to meet you. Um, do you need someone with sign language . Well, i always work for myself. Once he started talking, i knew i was in control. And afterwards, i showed him who hed really been interviewing. This is who you just hired. And thats the power of confidence. I would love to be included in your will. Double d breasts are essential for you . Its gotta be substantial. Captioning sponsored by Comedy Central from Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. [daily show theme song playing] [cheers and applause] jon welcome to the daily show. My same in jon stewart. Does that look like anything in i tried to draw a cartoon. Ow indeed. We have a nice one tonight. Joining us tonight from the msnbc
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COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart March 2, 2013

[cheers and applause] stephen thats it for the report, everybody. Good night. [cheers and applause] captioning sponsored by Comedy Central from Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. [daily show theme song playing] [cheers and applause] jon welcome to the daily show. My same in jon stewart. Does that look like anything in i tried to draw a cartoon. Ow indeed. We have a nice one tonight. Joining us tonight from the msnbc Cable News Network we have a basket of graduate degrees. Actually its Rachel Maddow who has a degree. She has earned them. Earned them. Not like me with the honorary doctorate although i still operate. [ laughter ] one day i wont kill one. [ laughter ] folks, next month marks the tenth and ann ....

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CNNW Wolf October 22, 2014

What weve learned here is that the fbi is raising the alert posture at field offices across the u. S. , essentially telling them to stay on heightened alert, be vigilant and on the lookout for copycat incidents and reminding them of a bulletin send out last week to be on alert. We dont know whether theres a nexus to terrorism and thats something that investigators are investigating as we speak. Josh wingrove is a journalist inside Canadas Parliament building when the shots rang out. Heres how he described what happened. Listen to this. I was writing a far less dramatic story than the one ive been writing since. I looked to my left and i dont know what it sounded like. It sounded like a giant bookshelf, a very loud bang as and posed to the popping. And the smokefilled foyer area, the police were taking cover and their guns were drawn. The journalists were sort of with them and we were all moving down this hallway called the hal ....

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Quebec police can refuse to talk to watchdog, province's top court says - Montreal

In a unanimous decision, Quebec's Court of Appeal panel ruled that officers cannot be forced to provide documents that could incriminate them to the watchdog. ....

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