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Transcripts For WJLA Jimmy Kimmel Live 20171207

jules sylvester. and now, here s neil patrick harris! [ cheers and applause ] neil patrick: hey, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] nice to see you. i am your guest host for the night. my name is neil patrick harris. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, thank you. you may know me from a little show called how i met your mother. [ cheers and applause ] my current show i m doing is, a series of unfortune netflix. i m also in the upcoming movie downsizing with mat damon coming out on the 22nd. very exciting. [ scattered boos ] easy, easy. if you re wondering if matt damon is as bad as jimmy says, the answer of course is yes. [ laughter ] he s garbage. [ laughter ] jimmy asked me to host for him, i immediately said yes. i thought he meant at the oscars. [ laughter ] but i guess it s too late to go back now. no, in all seriousness, i m very happy to fill in for jimmy tonight. i am thrilled. his son billy s heart operation was a success. [ cheers and applause ] he is recov

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Transcripts For WUSA The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20171208

privilege. plus stephen welcomes sarah paulson and john hodgman, featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it s stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) stephen: whoo! hi, everybody! how are ya! how are ya?! good to see ya! what s going on, everybody? welcome one and all, children of all ages to the late show. i m your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) thank you very much! big news from the trump-russia investigation. yesterday, we finally got congressional testimony from donald trump jr. his grilling by the house intelligence committee lasted the first time a trump has put in a full work day. ( laughter ) don, jr. was there answering questions about his infamous meeting with russian lawyer, natalia veselnitskaya. ( laughter ) as you recall, don, jr. was there looking for dirt on hillary clinton. back in june of 2016, right? that s what the meeting was about. and everybody was

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Transcripts For WRC The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon 20171209

roots crew. questlove: 786! miami, man! steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] jimmy: oh, my goodness that is a great crowd. welcome! welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome, everybody. welcome to the tonight show , baby. this is it. [ cheers and applause ] you re watching it. you re here. thank you very much. here s what people are talking about. you guys, tomorrow is santacon. [ scattered cheers ] it s the annual bar crawl where people dress up like santa claus for a day of drinking. [ cheers ] also the day uber drivers walk out of their apartment and say, nope. [ laughter and applause ] take this day off. steve: i m good. jimmy: that s right. santacon is this weekend here in new york. so if you see a big guy in a a red hat stumbling around slurring his words, kindly help the president find his way back to washington. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] actually, i saw that trump hosted his first white house hanukah party las

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Transcripts For WUSA The Late Show With Stephen Colbert 20171209

it s the late show with stephen colbert. tonight it s more moore. plus, stephen welcomes mark hamill and bobby flay featuring jon batiste and stay human. and now, live on tape from the ed sullivan theater in new york city, it s stephen colbert! ( cheers and applause ) ( cheers and applause ). welcome, everybody. please, sit down! you re very kind. sit down! please, enjoy the seats! what do i have there? thank you, sit down. please. sit, sit, sit! welcome to the late show. i m your host, stephen colbert. is it off? did i get it off? i came to the station tonight crawling through the steam tunnel. i got dust on me. it s friday, a big weekend ahead. everybody is excited. everyone is gearing up for tuesday s special election in alabama to decide the fate of senate candidate and billy-the-likes-kids, roy moore. eight women have accused moore of sexual misconduct while they were young teenagers, but donald trump still supports him, so tonight, trump s holding a giant rall

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Transcripts For KUSA Late Night With Seth Meyers 20161029

we cannot thank you enough for your hospitality this week. we ve absolutely had the best time. but without any further ado, let s get to the news. donald trump spoke at a campaign event in florida today where he once again said hillary clinton should be locked up. well, donald, if it s any consolation, it looks like the election is locked up. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] to accuse donald trump of inappropriately touching or kissing them as recently as 2005. said trump, i would never do that and anyone who says i would is me on tape on a bus with billy bush. [ laughter and applause ] experts are saying that if donald trump sues the new york times for libel over reports that he behaved inappropriately with women, it could backfire by revealing trump s entire sexual said trump, all of it? [ laughter and applause ] during a rally in florida yesterday donald trump boasted about his plans for isis and said he will quote, be their worst nightmare. oh, wow, so he s al

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