hello, america. i m jimmy fallon, the king locke of late night. greg gutfeld is out. and that s a good thing becaus,e would totally trash this jacket from my overweight figure skater collection like, listen, folks, greg bashes my wardrobe a lot. but in my defense, unlike greg, i can t borrow clothes from peter dinklage. jimmy. anyway, we have a great show for you tonight with a. but before we get to them, it is friday. now, the normal tradition on gutfeld is that we d open with leftovers. but seeing as it s the last episod leftov the e of 2023, the produe agreed to let me share my final thoughts on the year. if it s okay with you people. final thoughts now.. to be honest, 2023 was a bit of a dumpster fire, but it did teach us a lot things. , for instance, but why taught us that this was not what customers meant when they asked the bartender for a beer with some nut some s nut so silly. yeah. the mulvaney story turned the of beers into the rodney king of beers. but
That will determine the course of your life going forward. So weam te sendhe our team outs tonicourse of the year to find the real stories tonight. I those include the global water crisis, which is rea. L, e the rise of americas Fastest Growing professionalt an sports league, which you may not have heard of, and theing, vindication of prepping people made fun of it. They dont anymore. And then the stunning suppression of Civil Libertiesof and human rights in the nation of canada wholly ignored in this country. We begin tonight with a reportso on something that matters to everyone, to every human bein g, the food that you eat. Ma and that food may be changing. , all of a sudden, the people in charge, politicians, billionaire oligarchs, celebrities are telling you Yout Haveelli to fight Climate Change by changing what you eat. They may not want to change what you eat. No one ever voted on that. It o but democracy doesnt matteroo when it comes to the food supply. Heres a Firsk Att Look at
that will determine the course of your life going forward. so weam te sendhe our team outs tonicourse of the year to find the real stories tonight. i those include the global water crisis, which is rea.l, e the rise of america s fastest growing professionalt an sports league, which you may not have heard of, and theing, vindication of prepping people made fun of it. they don t anymore. and then the stunning suppression of civil libertiesof and human rights in the nation of canada wholly ignored in this country. we begin tonight with a reportso on something that matters to everyone, to every human bein g, the food that you eat.ma and that food may be changing. , all of a sudden, the people in charge, politicians, billionaire oligarchs, celebrities are telling you yout haveelli to fight climate change by changing what you eat. they may not want to change what you eat. no one ever voted on that. it o but democracy doesn t matteroo when it comes to the food supply. here s a
on capitol hill, where twoddle middle aged men from california are literall y throwing a temper tantrum. you got eric swalwell and adamrm schiff schif to congenital liar, likely still quivering with rage after learning thatafe their relationship and their membership to the all powerfulte house intelligence committee is no more . house speakellr kevin mccarthy remove them from this committee and for good reason, according w to reports. el congressman swalwell. well, remember, he was once a py a patsy for the chinese government after getting seduced by a woman named fang fang. you can t even make this up in a a novel. an undercover agent for the communist party of china. unfortunately, this was not wasn a one night stand, apparently a full blown relationship. in fact,own the two lovebirds right there together for quitelo some tim fe. ese by e and the chinesven e spy even hec eric raise money for his reelectionise mone. e li adam, the congenital liar.ar, sh schiff well, meanwhil
This is the 5. [ ] Crooked Joe Biden is smelling a, big defeat in november. So he has no choice but to bribe , baby, bribe. s the presiden 5t is taking anothr shot at his failed Student Loan Cancelation Scheme to juice hisi flailing numbers wits h young voters. Its a group he won by 25 points just four years ago but now the latest poll shows the big guy is losing to donald trump by two points. Biden is desperate to win them back so that explains why he is trying to find another loophole in the law and cancel student debt for 30 million borrowers. Aoc is cheering joe on and is giving the plan her socialist stamp of approval. This is huge. This is people getting Student Loan Forgiveness back their Student Loans canceled, it means that, you know, its hope to buy a house or have a kid or travel abroad or maybe even govi back to schoolng. And, you know, pursue a career that may be they otherwise wouldnt have. El one of the reasons that is not me now is because i did not feel like i would be