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Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240712

A long time ago. Ive said some very crazy things, but theyre all on comedy central, so no one can find them. If you want to cancel me, you literally have to buy a vcr on craigslist. Godspeed. I feel like if you guys did tune in to see jimmy and were surprised to see someone like me hosting instead, its probably like when a guy is on a plane and they see a female pilot walk onboard. At first, theyre like, look at her go. Okay, yeah. We have a female pilot. How neat. Then as soon as they shut the door, theyre like, theres a guy in there, right, to do the important stuff like, you know, flying the plane . Dont panic. There is a man here. Hes operating the camera. Its a wild situation. I mean, this is insane. I showed up to a random house and a guy in a mask is filming me. I dont know if he even works here. If hes the only person whos ever going to see this footage. But were keeping our fingers crossed. I hope it doesnt seem like im complaining, even though with my voice, everything sounds ....

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Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240712

Guy in there, right, to do the important stuff like, you know, flying the plane . Dont panic. There is a man here. Its not just me. Hes operating the camera. Its an insane situation. I showed up to a random house and a guy in a mask is filming me. I dont know if he even works here. If hes the only person whos ever going to see this footage. But were keeping our fingers crossed. I hope it doesnt seem like im complaining, even though with my voice, everything sounds like im complaining. But this house is gorgeous. I still find it amazing how, in hollywood, you can just rent some mansion for the day and shoot whatever you want. As long as youre wearing a mask or a condom, california is open for business. This truly is just some random house in hollywood. Ive lived in this town for 15 years. Ive been invited to a house to shoot a tv show many times, but this is the first time i showed up and there is actually a tv show. Fool me twice, danny masterson, shame on me. That is the first moment ....

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Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240712

I probably should have been. A long time ago. Ive said crazy things, but theyre all on comedy central, so no one can find them. If you want to cancel me, i think you actually have to buy a vcr on craigslist. Godspeed. I feel like if you guys did tune in to see jimmy and were surprised to see someone like me hosting instead, its probably like when guys are on a plane and see a female pilot walk on board. At first, theyre like look at her go. Okay, yeah. We have a female pilot. How neat. Then as soon as they shut the door, theyre like, theres at least one man in there, right, to do the important stuff like, you know, flying the plane . Dont panic. There is a man here, literally one. Hes operating the camera. Its a wild situation. I mean this is insane. I showed up to a random house and a guy in a mask is filming me. I dont know if he even works here. If hes the only person whos going to see this footage. But were keeping our fixers crossed. I hope it doesnt seem like im complaining, even ....

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Transcripts For KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live 20240712

Least one man in there, right, to do the important stuff like, you know, flying the plane . Dont panic. There is a man here, literally one. Hes operating the camera. Its a wild situation. I mean this is insane. I showed up to a random house and a guy in a mask is filming me. I dont know if he even works here. If hes the only person whos going to see this footage. But were keeping our fingers crossed. I hope it doesnt seem like im complaining, even though with my voice, everything sounds like im complaining. This house is gorgeous. I still find it amazing how, in hollywood, you can just rent some mansion for the day and shoot whatever you want. Yep, as long as youre wearing a mask or a condom, california is open for business. This really is just some random house in hollywood. Ive lived in this town 15 years. Ive been invited to a house to shoot a tv show many times, but this is the first time i showed up it was actually a tv show. Fool me twice danny masterson, shame on me. That is the ....

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Transcripts For KNTV Late 20240703

Music from gossip. Featuring the 8g band with kaz rodriguez. [ cheers and applause ] and now, seth meyers. Seth good evening, im seth meyers, this is late night. We hope youre doing well tonight. And now if you dont mind, were going to get to the news. In his speech about the collapse of Baltimores Francis scott key bridge yesterday, President Biden said that the federal government will pay the entire cost of rebuilding the bridge and added, quote, i expect congress to support the effort. After all, ted cruz needs something to live under. [ laughter ] during his speech yesterday in north carolina, President Biden joked about his age and said, quote, i know im only 40 years old, times two, plus one. [ laughter ] then he got a little bummed out about how long it took the audience to laugh. [ laughter ] so 4, 40 times ....

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