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WPVI Jimmy Kimmel Live March 24, 2017

Of postit notes. Wait a minute. Amazing [ applause ] you know, the that they were pu a statue of him up at the Staples Center. At first he didnt believe me. He thought it was a prank. I have a credibility problem. But thats the statue. This is also to get shaq off the couch when he fouls asleep watching tv. Its nine feet towall, it weigh 1,200 pounds, actual size and weight. [ laughter ] shaq was all over the news for saying the earth is flat. If hes wrong, hell jump up and down a few times and make it flat. But on capitol hill today, one of the most dramatic episodes of the celebrity president yet, republicans in the house were forced to postpone their vote today because they cannot agree on what the plan should be. Unfortunately, trumps budget for education cut funding for drawing boards, so theres no board for them to draw on. [ laughter and applause ] there was a major blow to the president who badly needs a win right now, but ....

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KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live March 30, 2017

Chappelle. Hes not actually here yet, hes late. Theres a chance Dave Chappelle might be here later on, if he arrives. Before we get to that, i got a call and said hello, for a second you dont hear anything, and you assume its your mom. [ laughter ] then a womans voice says, im sorry, im having trouble with my headset, can you hear me now . Like an idiot you say yes, then you realize youre having a conversation with a tape. Have you had that, where they trick you . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy so everybody. I looked it up, turns out its a scam to try to get a recording of your voice saying the word yes, that way they can say you ordered something. When you when you say you didnt, they have a recording of you saying yes, they attach it to whatever it is theyre selling. This is how the russians hooked trump by the way. [ laughter and applause ] the woman on the other end of the phone is very peppy. She sounds like rachael ray or som ....

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WPVI Jimmy Kimmel Live March 30, 2017

Chappelle. Hes not actually here yet, hes late. Theres a chance Dave Chappelle might be here later on, if he arrives. Before we get to that, i got a call and said hello, for a second you dont hear anything, and you assume its your mom. [ laughter ] then a womans voice says, im sorry, im having trouble with my headset, can you hear me now . Like an idiot you say yes, then you realize youre having a conversation with a tape. Have you had that, where they trick you . [ cheers and applause ] jimmy so everybody. I looked it up, turns out its a scam to try to get a recording of your voice saying the word yes, that way they can say you ordered something. When you when you say you didnt, they have a recording of you saying yes, they attach it to whatever it is theyre selling. This is how the russians hooked trump by the way. [ laughter and applause ] the woman on the other end of the phone is very peppy. She sounds like rachael ray or som ....

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KGO Jimmy Kimmel Live April 1, 2017

Delivery app called shipt. Theyre rolling out in tampa first, they are. Then they hope to reach 50 cities by the end of the year. If theyre successful, if we were able to get everything from costco delivered directly, theres no reason to ever leave the house again. [ laughter ] the big question is, how much do i tip someone for carrying 34 pounds of ribs and two gallons of the Barbecue Sauce up my driveway . This is a step in the right direction, but my dream, what i would like to do is cut out the middleman completely and just move into a costco so i dont have to get anything delivered at all. I love going to costco. Its one of my hobbies. I went to costco on sunday just because i hadnt been there in a while. I didnt need anything. They get worried if i dont check in. I like to see whats new, maybe buy 100 rolls of paper towels, sometimes ill watch finding dory in its entirety on one of the bigscreen tvs. Maybe its because i have ....

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WPVI Jimmy Kimmel Live April 1, 2017

Do with food now with the delivery app called shipt. Theyre rolling out in tampa first, they are. Then they hope to reach 50 cities by the end of the year. If theyre successful, if we were able to get everything from costco delivered directly, theres no reason to ever leave the house again. [ laughter ] the big question is, how much do i tip someone for carrying 34 pounds of ribs and two gallons of the Barbecue Sauce up my driveway . This is a step in the right direction, but my dream, what i would like to do is cut out the middleman completely and just move into a costco so i dont have to get anything delivered at all. I love going to costco. Its one of my hobbies. I went to costco on sunday just because i hadnt been there in a while. I didnt need anything. They get worried if i dont check in. I like to see whats new, maybe buy 100 rolls of paper towels, sometimes ill watch finding dory in its entirety on one of the bigscreen tvs ....

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