TALLAHASSEE, FL With its legislature passing a resolution that cited the rich and significant history of the reproductive organ, Florida named the penis its official state genital on Wednesday. “It fills me with great pleasure to sign this legislation recognizing the profound influence of the human penis on the…
PUEBLO, CO With the body it was attached to measuring well below average, a local penis was reportedly feeling self-conscious Wednesday about how small his man was. “I know it shouldn’t be a big deal, but I have a lot of insecurity about the size of my man,” said the set of genitals, adding that it couldn’t count on…
CLEVELAND Rushing into action mere moments before the situation reached a point of no return, heroic police officer Samuel Esposito reportedly talked a man down Tuesday from the edge of climaxing. “Sir, before you do something drastic that we all regret, I’m asking you put down your penis and step away from the…
CINCINNATI Admitting that he had an avoidant personality that often left him closed off to new possibilities, local man Stanley Fox reportedly stepped out of his comfort zone Friday by flashing his penis to diners at popular restaurant Harmon’s Dinette. “Certainly, I’m not the kind of guy who’d usually feel…