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The paper said my team (Sand Gnats) had a chance this year (second season with the new name), so I opened the fridge, opened a beer, sat down, and turned the TV on to watch the first game of the season. My guy was pitching first pitch. He threw it it looked like a strike. The umpire went to signal. Instead he collapsed. Everybody ran over. After a couple of minutes of madness and nonsense, the commentator said, “Jesus Christ, I think he had a heart attack. Jesus Christ, I think he’s dead.” I turned the TV off, put a piece of scotch tape over my half-finished beer, put it back in the refrigerator, and went to sleep. ....