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fox news shows begin, with a fox news alert. we are reporting tonight on a missing person paid 79-year-old caucasian male identifies as who and huh, occasionally calls others jack. last seen in delaware. maybe the basement. wearing khakis, button-down, dark aviators, a mask dangling off his ear. carrying the nuclear football. he answers to the name of the comeback kid and the big guy, a.k.a. your president joe biden. also goes by scranton joe or brandon. if you really wanted his attention, you can say, hey, who want some ice cream come he ll come wandering around to your door. the media is searching for him high and low, mostly low. strange, considering just last week they told us that after a string of big wins, the president was on a roll, his stretch of bad luck was behind him, his poll numbers had hit rock bottom. like a line of parmesan cheese under hunter s nose, there was nowhere to go but up. [applause] via inflation reduction i was going to turn his presidency right

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