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COM The Colbert Report November 5, 2014

Welcome to the report. Good to have you with us. Lovely to have you here cheers and applause stephen thank you so much thanks so much. Ive got to tell ya, ladies and gentlemen, its on these crisp, fall days that its good to warm yourself. Warm yourself by a roaring audience. cheers and applause folks, thanks so much for being here. Folks, youre here on a very special night because, tonight, were bringing you our live election show. Announcement that well be doing it tomorrow. laughter this is pretaped which is why i can safely say, im going to be so bleep tired on wednesday. laughter again, join us tomorrow for our live election special. That will be at whatever time the show is normally on, and then one hour earlier in other places where farmers live. laughter and it will be a big night cuz, at this point, the candidates have said all that can be said and walked back all they can regret having said. laughter after months campaigning and a record 4 billion spent, candidates now face th ....

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COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart November 3, 2014

[ dallas theme music ] captioning sponsored by Comedy Central cheers and applause from austin, texas. A city so liberal a guitar can marry a cowboy boot. Its the daily show coverage. Goes to the one part of texas where we wont get shot at. [ applause ] p jon thank you thank you so much welcome to the show thank you so much. Wow, what an honor to be here in austin, texas only open carry ebola state in the union. We are thrilled to be here in austin. We have a nice week planned. The midterm elections, wendy davis is here. [ cheering and applause ] really the big story in the country continues its perverse obsession with a virus that none of us who has not had direct contact with an ebola patient has gotten. Our coverage starts with samantha bee where it all started in dallas, texas. [ cheering and applause ] i got to ask you, currently theres no active ebola cases, how did dallas finally get on top of things . Well, jon, dallas offi ....

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COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart November 6, 2014

Program,ehkcleese,i owz ladies. [applause] very excited to have him on. But first, i didnt get a chance to watch the midterm elections last night. [laughter] so i dont, you know, how did it go . A huge night for the gop. Jon lookingthe term shella [laughter] byte way, that is the new congressional seal. [laughter] feel free to print it out. Put it on your backpack to show people your grade school, youre interested in politics. [laughter] i cannot tell you how much better that looks than the version of the elephant [bleep] really the[looked a little too ] anyway. Senate, governors, you name it, republicans won it. Expwrierks it was a neck and neck battle but it turned out an easy win for the gop. Thom tillis the senator. He won the mansions in blue states like maryland. Republicans won six of them. Jon duma and chinas people iex ÷ now its the republican. The Blue Man Group now the
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COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart November 5, 2014

Do you have there, oh, thats fine. We have for you tonight jake gyllenhaal. cheers and applause the favorite gyllenhaal. So lets begin tonight with tomorrow Midterm Election day. Or as people under 6 a call it, hey, why are all those old people lined up at the elementary school. Its the subject of tonights democalypse 2014. Come on republicans, just go ahead and take over. Recent polls indicate a bad night ahead for the democrats. Well, not bad. Not bad necessarily. What is this, what do you call it when a hard rainfalls and washes away all the republicans . Oh, apparently its their own damn fault. Why would anyone vote for a cem crat democratic candidate. The answer he is motion. They kringt argue on the economy. They cant argue on Foreign Policy. They cant argue on the economy tens of government. They cant argue really on anything. If you are looking for rational argument ....

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WCAU Today September 10, 2014

The room why the former olympian shot and killed his girlfriend, reeva steenkamp. With the verdict in the case now less than 24 hours away. Brutal night for bieber, Justin Bieber appears at a fundraiser and is booed before, during, and after. Today wednesday, september 10th, 2014. From nbc news, this is today. With matt lauer and Savannah Guthrie, live from studio 1 a in rockefeller plaza. Welcome to today, wednesday morning, im matt lauer. Have you ever had this situation, someone comes with an idea and you say youre kidding, right . Well, actually were not kidding. This is going to be a lot of fun. We have never, as this group nope. Ever started together at the 7 00 hour of this show. Get used to it. What did you really think . I loved it. You did . Wed be his angels. Thats right. After i very bad feeling about this. I want to be on the record. Maternity week we begin with ....

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