Kyle . Surprise, fat ass kyle, what are you doing . I went online posing as a boy who would have sex with older men and told them to meet me here. My plan worked perffctly [car horns honking] [tires screeching] haha. [all cheering] whoa. Hey, i brought you some wendys. Yeah, yeah, go on in, theres a hot tub inside. Stupid shit score oh, no, its chris hansen [gunshot] [murmuring] what the hell is going on . Wait a minute oh, god, its chris hansen [gunshot] chris hansen [gunshot] dateline . [gunshot] i knew it [gunshot] there arent really brownies . [gunshotss. Hey do you have something to do with this . . , answer me stupid shit, cock what . Nobody talks to me like that why dont you take a seat . Take a seat right over there. Suck it assholelicker dick fart why you little ill tell on you wow, youre the coolest kid in the world. If i could call chris hannen an assholelicking dick fart to his face, i would be so happy. You would . Can i just like hang out with you sometimes . Like do your
Not that one. Governor Chris Christie. Huh . Hes the boss. applause the other boss. Folks, weve been so wrapped up here in this country with our election, our fiscal cliff, our inattention to events in egypt and syria that we forget there are Important International stories that deserve our focus. And then theres this one. Yes, exciting the british royalty is expanding am will and kate with preggers. See that, its a royal baby bump, what a joy to be here on this day of celebration. Theres the picture on the times, were expecting. And then i love this one, kates expectations. applause jon not bad. Kind of obvious, i mean if you want to go with pregnancy puns based on british literature. Why not macbirth or why limit yourself to English Literature y not madams ovaris. laughter the prince and the hopper. Portrait of the fetus as a young man. Wait, wait perhaps dickens was best, a tale of sore titties. laughter applause it was the best of the breast of times what an erudite crowd. Titties.
Stephen well, thats it for the report, everybody. Good night cheers and applause captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org from company dee centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. cheers and applause captioning sponsored by Comedy Central jon welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. Weve got a show for you tonight. Going to break the bank. My guest tonight, right here on this stage, should i say a certain boss from new jersey . cheers and applause not that one. Governor Chris Christie. Huh . Hes the boss. applause the other boss. Folks, weve been so wrapped up here in this country with our election, our fiscal cliff, our inattention to events in egypt and syria that we forget there are Important International stories that deserve our focus. And then theres this one. Yes, exciting the british royalty is expanding am will and kate with preggers. See that, its a royal baby bump,
Mayor pete moving ahead there. We have a South Carolina poll out today that shows joe biden once again doing extremely well there. This is such a fluid, exciting race on the democratic side. You see mayor pete jumping up, hes at 25 in iowa. And South Carolina, hes big in joe biden. Well get into that in a moment. But lets begin today kick off week two in public testimony in the impeachment probe. Well get into who will be testifying in a moment, but first latest abc news poll shows where americans are now on this issue. 70 , 70, think the president s actions with ukraine were wrong. Only 25 think they were not. Among those who think his actions were wrong, 51 think he should be impeach and removed from office. 6 think he should be impeached and not removed from office. And 13 think he should not be impeached or removed from office. And the new npr mayor rift poll out this more, 50 believe he should be impeached, 40 do not. 70 think its unacceptable for a president to acc ask a foreign