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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20141028

Jon governor rick scott of florida refused to debate former governor of florida crist because former governor crist has a fan that appears to be providing a small amount of respite for his presumably sweaty balls. Thank you, jesus look, we all know whats happening here. Its florida. Theres a humid environment in florida. Crists boys got sweaty so the former governor pops down and picks up a fan at bed, balls and beyond. Whats the issue . The first question i want to ask you, governor crist, is why did you insist on bringing a fan here . Why not . You know, is there anything wrong with being comfortable . Jon now that is how you win votes in florida. Right now a million in florida are turning to their friend going, i mean hes got a point, you know, you stand all night in the lights, i mean he should be comfortable, uh . Of course, those of you who follow Florida Politics or have a google alert set for florida ball fan controversy, were hardly surprised by the scandal. This happened back

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20141027

[cheers and applause] welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. Our guest tonight, man, i could have used this guy last night. Professor bryan stevenson, author of just mercy. I cap lie to you people. This has been a lousy couple of weeks, years, decades. Endless war, corporatist surveillance state that thrives on secrecy and tears of orphans. And now a roving hoard of islamist decapitation fetishes who are raising an african blood virus to see who can kill us first. Why go on . We must keep fighting because as frodo taught us, even if the world is horse [bleep], if you dig around long enough there is a pony in there somewhere. Well, it turns out, ladies and gentlemen, i found a pony last night in florida. We are live from Broward College in florida, we have governor Charlie Crist, Florida Governor rick scott. Our incumbent governor and the republican candidate for governor is also in the building. Governor rick scott, we have been told that Governor Scott will not be particip

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20141017

I cap lie to you people. This has been a lousy couple of weeks, years, decades. Endless war, corporatist surveillance state that thrives on secrecy and tears of orphans. And now a roving hoard of islamist decapitation fetishes who are raising an african blood virus to see who can kill us first. Why go on . We must keep fighting because as frodo taught us, even if the world is horse [bleep], if you dig around long enough there is a pony in there somewhere. Well, it turns out, ladies and gentlemen, i found a pony last night in florida. We are live from Broward College in florida, we have governor Charlie Crist, Florida Governor rick scott. Our incumbent governor and the republican candidate for governor is also in the building. Governor rick scott, we have been told that Governor Scott will not be participating in this debate. Jon he cant not participate. A debate must have at least two parties to be considered a debate otherwise its a masterbait, its just one. Perhaps Governor Scott is

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20141018

Weeks, years, decades. Endless war, corporatist surveillance state that thrives on secrecy and tears of orphans. And now a roving hoard of islamist decapitation fetishes who are raising an african blood virus to see who can kill us first. Why go on . We must keep fighting because as frodo taught us, even if the world is horse [bleep], if you dig around long enough there is a pony in there somewhere. Well, it turns out, ladies and gentlemen, i found a pony last night in florida. We are live from Broward College in florida, we have governor Charlie Crist, Florida Governor rick scott. Our incumbent governor and the republican candidate for governor is also in the building. Governor rick scott, we have been told that Governor Scott will not be participating in this debate. Jon he cant not participate. A debate must have at least two parties to be considered a debate otherwise its a masterbait, its just one. Perhaps Governor Scott is late. Maybe hes late. Perhaps the hairless incumbent got

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20141017

Professor bryan stevenson, author of just mercy. I cap lie to you people. This has been a lousy couple of weeks, years, decades. Endless war, corporatist surveillance state that thrives on secrecy and tears of orphans. And now a roving hoard of islamist decapitation fetishes who are raising an african blood virus to see who can kill us first. Why go on . We must keep fighting because as frodo taught us, even if the world is horse [bleep], if you dig around long enough there is a pony in there somewhere. Well, it turns out, ladies and gentlemen, i found a pony last night in florida. We are live from Broward College in florida, we have governor Charlie Crist, Florida Governor rick scott. Our incumbent governor and the republican candidate for governor is also in the building. Governor rick scott, we have been told that Governor Scott will not be participating in this debate. Jon he cant not participate. A debate must have at least two parties to be considered a debate otherwise its a mas

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