aw! greg: you know it s illegal to write poodles dressed up as a cowgirl? ha-ha. greg: just checking. we re breaking new ground. it s time for scratch-n-sniff monologue. this has never been done and probably for good reason, but it s true. at any moment, you, dear viewer, will be asked to scratch the tv screen when an image appears, and then you have to guess what that image smells like. i know! there s something wrong with me. there s something wrong with me, but isn t this fun? it s a special treat for all of you at home and for our fans watching for free at best buy. so let s go to the 1st one. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. all right. huh? huh? oh yeah, there you go. the scratch-n-sniff. get up there. get up to your screen. smell it. smell it. smell your fingers. get up there. all right, what s that smell like? what s that smell like? now if you guessed parmesan cheese, you win. but we will accept crisco, because we know he does. hunter claims his dad viewed him
a lightsaber here, not a dum-dum, hah? i wonder what joe has to say? hey come on, man, look, look, i m sick and tired of it, man. hey, look, i know some things are more expensive. gas and but some things are less expensive. you have to look around. i mean, look at this. my pillow, this guy is having a 2-for-1, practically giving them away. have you priced lp records lately? look at this. these cost $10. $1.50 on ebay. macho macho man. they got everything on there. all right? a little over $1. how about this? .99 cents? cher s greatest hits. look, i think she was better after she left ike turner. do you believe in love after love [coughing] greg: ha-ha! let s welcome tonight s guests! criminals ask bailiffs to protect them from her. cohost, judge jeanine pirro.