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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240712

Last straw . I thought she looked fly. You know who i feel really bad for . Prince charles. Think about it, when he was born, he was set to inherit a massive global empire. By the time he finally takes over, though, hell basically just be ruling seattle but with a fancier accent. At this rate the only caribbean island british royals will be welcome at is jeffrey epsteins. Barbados basically ghosted the queen hello . Hello, barbados, hello . Shhh dont answer the phone, rihanna is our queen now. To another country where people are desperate to rid themselves of a despotic monarch, the United States. One of the big clashes between protestors and police is on junr gas, spray and batons to clear the white house so President Trump could hold a bible in front of a church. I want to show my people it doesnt burn my hand like in the movies, we can hold it. But as overheated as that response was, we are finding out ut it could have been hotter. The military whistle blowers said federal officials

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20170210

But only you can anytake her on a journey. You got something. Own it and smell great with new axe you, a unique masculine fragrance. Wheres the iceman . He has to be around here somewhere. I cant believe hes gone. Wait look, the helicopter. Steve. Hes alive. Goodbye again, im off to des moines. No, come back. You cant adapt, youll never live. Im not living here. Living is having ups and downs and sharing them with friends. Thank you, stan and kyle. See ya damn, so much for our plan to use the iceman to take over sweden. What . What . Nothing. Kyle, steve is a pretty good name for that guy. No, dude, gorac is cool because its original. And besides, you found him. Be very, very quiet. Im hunting crocodiles. Can we be best friends again . I hate having cartman as a best friend. Me too, he sucks. Oh yeah, well i dont need you guys anyway. You guys can kiss my. Uhhuh, theres a king croc right there. And what im gonna do is im gonna sneak up on it and jam my thumb in. Hey, get me out of here

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20170210

But only you can anytake her on a journey. You got something. Own it and smell great with new axe you, a unique masculine fragrance. Wheres the iceman . He has to be around here somewhere. I cant believe hes gone. Wait look, the helicopter. Steve. Hes alive. Goodbye again, im off to des moines. No, come back. You cant adapt, youll never live. Im not living here. Living is having ups and downs and sharing them with friends. Thank you, stan and kyle. See ya damn, so much for our plan to use the iceman to take over sweden. What . What . Nothing. Kyle, steve is a pretty good name for that guy. No, dude, gorac is cool because its original. And besides, you found him. Be very, very quiet. Im hunting crocodiles. Can we be best friends again . I hate having cartman as a best friend. Me too, he sucks. Oh yeah, well i dont need you guys anyway. You guys can kiss my. Uhhuh, theres a king croc right there. And what im gonna do is im gonna sneak up on it and jam my thumb in. Hey, get me out of here

United statesNew yorkSouth africaSouth africanBruno marsElizabeth warrenEleanor rooseveltLaura janeLos angelesMitch mcconnellHiroyuki fujitaKim kardashianTrevor noahRoy wood jrGreat newKing croc

Transcripts For COM The Colbert Report 20140918

Welcome to the report. Good to have you with us, folks. cheers and applause thank you so much. Folks, im so glad youre here. Im so glad you have got love and youve got energy tonightment i come out here night after night, i dont do this show i dont do this show for 9 praise. I dont do this show for the money. I do this show to make your life better. cheers and applause jon . Stephen now folks, theres so much horrible news out there right now. The ebola epidemic is spreading. Isis continues their reign of terror and evidently, and i did not see this coming, the nfl employs some violent people. laughter i know. Who could predict that . But no matter how rough the news gets, you know what they say, when the going gets tough, the tough escape into a world of fantasy. And i am personally a huge fan of the genre from the lord of the rings, to the chronicles of narnia to the notebooks of galileo. I mean the earth goes around the sun . Please, i got two eyes, i can see. How did joshua stop the

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Batman Beyond Debuts the Stunning Final Form of an Iconic Gotham Villain

Batman Beyond Debuts the Stunning Final Form of an Iconic Gotham Villain
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