This is not the way it should be. every time i look at my son, i am reminded of what was taken away from him. i show my son pictures and videos of his dad and his face lights up with the biggest smile and he says da-da, it hurts me because i know he had the chance to see his dad again, it would fill a hole in his heart that s now there. i can t take the place of his father and neither kanani other man. all i can do is hope and pray things get better from us. i suffer from severe ptsd when ever i am pulled over, i have extreme anxiety, afraid of making a mistake and something ending up going wrong. i can t watch any movies or ....