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COM The Colbert Report November 14, 2013

Your rip replacement. So come on, obama, theres got to be a v. I. P. List. I tried showing up to the web site with two models and a bag of coke. But all i got was two coked up models laughter god, they need some health care. Ill just keep trying, but in the meantime, mr. President , please do not fix the web site. I wouldnt want this exclusive club to be ruined by a bunch of poor people. laughter and, folks, i believe the only thing worse than obamas web site is his lack of foresight. Now, our Neville Chamberlain in chief loves surrendering to americas enemies and this weekend he sent secretariat of state john kerry to wave the white flag at iran. Secretary of state john kerry is in switzerland to negotiate a possible break through to freeze Irans Nuclear program. The United States is largely looking for iran to take ....

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COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart November 13, 2013

Foreign diplomacy. There are signals that the u. S. Could be close to iran about an agreement over nuclear capability. Just in the knick of time nick in of time that is wonderful news because iran is just a week away from developing a nuclear weapon. They have been for the past 20 years. [laughter] says people who would like to bomb iran. [ laughter ] but if iran is willing to make a deal, dude Foreign Ministers of big western powers led by the u. S. Secretary of state john kerry diverted planes and canceled meetings to fly to geneva. Jon let the call go out to the league of unknown gentlemen. Diplomats assemble [laughter] they were all there, all the big diplomats. There was hans the germman jean claude from france, lord barrington j. Powder of the uk and the man from tehran, jimmy death to america zarif. [ laughter ] yes, from all around the world Foreign Ministers ca ....

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COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart November 13, 2013

Exciting news in the world of foreign diplomacy. There are signals that the u. S. Could be close to iran about an agreement over nuclear capability. Just in the knick of time nick in of time that is wonderful news because iran is just a week away from developing a nuclear weapon. They have been for the past 20 years. [laughter] says people who would like to bomb iran. [ laughter ] but if iran is willing to make a deal, dude Foreign Ministers of big western powers led by the u. S. Secretary of state john kerry diverted planes and canceled meetings to fly to geneva. Jon let the call go out to the league of unknown gentlemen. Diplomats assemble [laughter] they were all there, all the big diplomats. There was hans the germman jean claude from france, lord barrington j. Powder of the uk and the man from tehran, jimmy death to america zarif. [ laughter ] yes, from all around the world
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COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart November 13, 2013

Tosh god, bless our new founding fathers. Turn the lights on and go back to work. With all that puking, youd think theyd be a lot skinnier. Good night. From comedy centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. [daily show theme song playing] [cheers and applause] welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. Weve got a good one for you tonight. My guest joseph scarborough. Exciting news in the world of foreign diplomacy. There are signals that the u. S. Could be close to iran about an agreement over nuclear capability. Just in the knick of time nick in of time that is wonderful news because iran is just a week away from developing a nuclear weapon. They have been for the past 20 years. [laughter] says people who would like to bomb iran. [ laughter ] but if iran is willing to make a deal, dude Foreign Ministers of big western powers led by the u. S. Secretary of state john kerry dive ....

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COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart November 18, 2013

Agreement over nuclear capability. Just in the knick of time nick in of time that is wonderful news because iran is just a week away from developing a nuclear weapon. They have been for the past 20 years. [laughter] says people who would like to bomb iran. [ laughter ] but if iran is willing to make a deal, dude Foreign Ministers of big western powers led by the u. S. Secretary of state john kerry diverted planes and canceled meetings to fly to geneva. Jon let the call go out to the league of unknown gentlemen. Diplomats assemble [laughter] they were all there, all the big diplomats. There was hans the germman jean claude from france, lord barrington j. Powder of the uk and the man from tehran, jimmy death to america zarif. [ laughter ] yes, from all around the world Foreign Ministers came to geneva by jet, by boat and train. John kerry himself turned around his trusty ....

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