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News headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. [cheering and applause] [theme music playing] jon welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. We have a good one for you tonight. Newark mayor cory booker will be joining us, but lets begin tonight as i really should begin almost every night, with an apology. Weve had a bit of fun here over the years concerning what is commonly referred to this time of year as the war on christmas where a small band of 70 of the country have fought tirelessly for the right to openly celebrate the feast day of their lords birth, to have a mass on that day honoring their christ, a mass christ, if you will. [laughter] now, we have poked fun at this, saying such things as, there is no war on christmas or youre [bleeped] crazy. [laughter] classic wit. That was before i realized what these poor folks have been going through. This is the thing about atheists, they bully other religions. Theyre trying to put their hands in my religi ....
So you dont know. So what are these atheist bullies want . Im assuming a dictatorship of godlessness. Were stopping the government from preferring one religion over another. We demand equality from the government and its our constitutional right. You should be demanding it along with me. Jon yes we should because you are perhaps technically correct, although im still not sure how your local manger scene Enforcement Program is going to get you to that goal. But you know what, maybe that godless man is right. Maybe the government should force communities to make sure all religions are given exactly, exactly equal treatment, even lutherans. Perhaps as i setle into my normal midshow nap, i can ponder what a wonderful, equitable world that would be. [snoring] [speaking in a ghost voice] jon, jon jon who are you . [speaking in a ghost voice] im the ghost of christmas past. Jon why are you dressed as a kinky zombie . Your ghost form ....
Stand by me if thou most compelling don the peasant who is he wearing what his dwelling underneath the mountains right against the forest by st. Agnes fountain and bring me blush and bring me love thou and i will see him dine when we bear thither. Force they went together and the bitter weather stars at night is darker now and the wind grows stronger fails my heart i know not how i can go no longer dress thou boldly thou shall find the winters rage freeze thy bloodless cold therefore, christian men be sure stephen good night. [cheers and applause] from cod news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. [cheering and applause] [theme music playing] jon welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. We have a good one for you tonight. Newark mayor cory booker will be joining us, but lets begin tonight as i really should begin almost every night, with an apology. Weve had a bit of fun here over the years concerning what is commonly referred to this time of yea ....
[cheering and applause] [theme music playing] jon welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. We have a good one for you tonight. Newark mayor cory booker will be joining us, but lets begin tonight as i really should begin almost every night, with an apology. Weve had a bit of fun here over the years concerning what is commonly referred to this time of year as the war on christmas where a small band of 70 of the country have fought tirelessly for the right to openly celebrate the feast day of their lords birth, to have a mass on that day honoring their christ, a mass christ, if you will. [laughter] now, we have poked fun at this, saying such things as, there is no war on christmas or youre [bleeped] crazy. [laughter] classic wit. That was before i realized what these poor folks have been going through. This is the thing about atheists, they bully other religions. Theyre trying to put their hands in my religion. Its about being intolerant to the nature of tradition in this countr ....
Sometimes you see an awesome preview for a movie you know is horrible, but you want to find out how it ends. Well, now you dont have to, because i love watching awful movies. Ill tell you how theyre gonna end in a new segment were calling spoiler alert. This weeks film is an underrated little gem called orphan. I gotta tell you, this thing had me at frame one. Now, they dont adopt this crazy chick till about 45 minutes in. Yeah, shes just up in the attic. Shes painting. She can paint really well. Oh, the moms a great pianist too. Did i mention they have a deaf daughter . They have a deaf daughter. Kids who hang out with adults are [bleep] freaks. And they become instant best friends. Were best friends. Ill learn sign language. How long should that take . Apparently like a half a day. And the dads like, oh, i dont believe you, woman, that ive known my entire life. I believe this girl that we just met. She never wants to go to the dentist either. Shes like, dont take me to the dentist. A ....