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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240711

Stuff in the news right now. But before we get to that, lets kick it off with a fun crime story thats out of this world. And now that i hear that, it probably sounded like it has something to do with outer space, which it doesnt. No, its not out of this world. Its pretty cool, though. A wild chase worthy of the big screen. The suspect in a multimillion dollar ponzi scheme tried to escape the feds under the water of lake shasta. The u. S. Attorneys office says mathew percy took off in his truck when the f. B. I. Showed up at his home and eventually jumped on a sea scooter, a device that propels people up to 100 feet under water. Well, agents eventually spotted his bubbles and waited him out. When he finally came out, they cuffed him. Trevor man, there is so much i love about this story. First of all, i love how the guy had the sea scooter ready, like, he knew he was going to have to outrun the feds at some point. Thats going to be a hard one to explain to the judge. Not guilty, your hon

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240711

But before we get to that, lets kick it off with a fun crime story thats out of this world. And now that i hear that, it probably sounded like it has something to do with outer space, which it doesnt. No, its not out of this world. Its pretty cool, though. A wild chase worthy of the big screen. The suspect in a multimillion dollar ponzi scheme tried to escape the feds under the water of lake shasta. The u. S. Attorneys office says mathew percy took off in his truck when the f. B. I. Showed up at his home and eventually jumped on a sea scooter, a device that propels people up to 100 feet under water. Well, agents eventually spotted his bubbles and waited him out. When he finally came out, they cuffed him. Trevor man, there is so much i love about this story. First of all, i love how the guy had the sea scooter ready, like, he knew he was going to have to outrun the feds at some point. Thats going to be a hard one to explain to the judge. Not guilty, your honor although, yes, i did try t

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Trevor Noah 20240711

Imagine if i started learning ference today, and eight months after practicing, i dont speak french. And i think its a little insane that these restrictions are just now happening. Because weve known the importance of wearing a mask for months, and some states are just now putting a mask mandate into place. Only now . This is like hosting a pool party, and then in the last ten minutes saying okay, new rule no shitting in the pool. Yeah looking at you, david i mean, better late than never, but thats some shit floating around. But this is why it is so important to always wear a mask in public spaces. You can protect your loved ones and your whole community with a 3 strip of fabric, people. You have no excuse. And maybe youre saying, but trevor, im a rich snob. I would never wear something that only costs 3. Well, now you have no excuse, either. Who says staying safe cant also be a fashion statement . The worlds most expensive face mask now making its debut. The 1. 5 million mask was crea

Transcripts For FBC Varney Company 20240713

It was being called the christmas protest. Three big hours for you. Buckle in. Merry christmas. Varney company about to start right now. Charles huge gains for the markets this year. The calendar year, in fact, has wall street looking extraordinarily well. Want to bring in market watcher Rebecca Walser on these gains and of course, at this point in time, we always look ahead. What do you make overall of this market, considering all the negative headlines, all the negative speculation . First to have this kind of market is really remarkable. Charles, it is. Merry christmas. Im having such a great retail season high. I dont care what the retail experts, you know, were expecting. We got 3. 4 growth and Super Saturday, charles, the biggest shopping day ever. 3. 4 billion on Super Saturday. Thats what happens when you have a short Christmas Shopping season, right, from thanksgiving to christmas. Charles yeah, no doubt about it. And i got to tell you, its anecdotal but as i looked around at

Transcripts For FBC Mornings With Maria Bartiromo 20240713

Cheryl veronica . I hosted so im ready to be done. We have a lot of news coming up this morning. Our top story this hour was, well, it was christmas, americans spending more money online for the Holiday Season, ecommerce sales jumped more than 18 compared to last year overall. Holiday retail sales excluding cars rising more than 3 . Thanksgiving did fall later this year which pushed a lot of retailers to start sales earlier. President trump touted the news, heres what he tweeted. 2019 Holiday Retail sales were up 3. 4 from last year. Biggest number in u. S. History, congratulations, america. Veronica, your reaction in the middle of all this political abusinesabyss thats happening , you have an economy and consumer thats on fire and we have numbers to prove it. It sounds like youre trying to get away from washington but this is great for the party of washington, for republicans, for the president. This is a great economy for him to be going into 2020 with. Theres a ton of devi divisiven

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