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Stephen come on welcome to the report. Good to have you with us. In there, out there, all over the world. Thank you so much ladies and gentlemen cheers and applause ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for coming. Folks cheers and applause folks, please have a seat. Weve got huge news to get to right off the bat. Nation, im no fan of bicycles. laughter its like taking a spin class to get to my spin class. laughter no thanks. Plus theyre always crowding the tiny lane i use when theres traffic. laughter well, over the weekend, bicycles or bikes, as gangbangers call them, claimed their latest victim. Bono recovering from a nasty spill in new yorks central park. The u2 front man injured his arm after falling off his bicycle. In fact, hes going to have to have surgery. Thats right. Bono broke his boneo. laughter its a dangerous city, folks. They say giuliani cleaned it up, but new yorkers still live with the looming threat of the ground. laughter thats why theyre called the mean streets. ....
Jon hey, welcome to the daily show. My name is jon stewart. On the show tonight my guest tonight the great actor colin firth is going to be joining us. But before we get started i did want to ask you a quick question. I was perusing the internet and i guess my question to you is did i die . laughter cuz it all seems very i died. laughter no very weird. An overwhelming day here as you can imagine. And people have been asking and im not exactly sure what and im in the trying to brag but some offers have been coming in. Even fastfood chain arbys got in on the fun tweeting jon, feel free to reach out to us at careers careers arbys. Comful cheers and applause jon you know what actually, you know what i guess my only question would be if i work there would i have to handle serve touch, eat or even look at what you so generously describe as food . Thats thats right, arbies this [bleep] aint over. I do not accept your peace offer. We shall always be enemies. For while you are a worthy adversar ....
Well, then get an aids test, thompson, cause your wifes a dude, faggot. Yeah, im back [mouse squeaking] captioning by captionmax www. Captionmax. Com [ dallas theme music ] captioning sponsored by Comedy Central cheers and applause from austin, texas. A city so liberal a guitar can marry a cowboy boot. Its the daily show coverage. Goes to the one part of texas where we wont get shot at. [ applause ] p jon thank you thank you so much welcome to the show thank you so much. Wow, what an honor to be here in austin, texas only open carry ebola state in the union. We are thrilled to be here in austin. We have a nice week planned. The midterm elections, wendy davis is here. [ cheering and applause ] really the big story in the country continues its perverse obsession with a virus that none of us who has not had direct contact with an ebola patient has gotten. Our coverage starts with samantha bee where it all started in dallas, texas. [ ....
Thats our show. Here it is, your home of zen. The American People went to the polls last week and delivered a decisive blow to the president. And his progressive agenda. I get a big pick out of the use of the word progressive. They are just straight old captioning sponsored by Comedy Central captioned by Media Access Group at wgbh access. Wgbh. Org eagle caw captioning sponsored by Comedy Central cheers and applause audience chanting Stephen Stephen come on welcome to the report. Good to have you with us. In there, out there, all over the world. Thank you so much ladies and gentlemen cheers and applause ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for coming. Folks cheers and applause folks, please have a seat ....
But first, i didnt get a chance to watch the midterm elections last night. [laughter] so i dont, you know, how did it go . A huge night for the gop. Jon lookingthe term shella [laughter] byte way, that is the new congressional seal. [laughter] feel free to print it out. Put it on your backpack to show people your grade school, youre interested in politics. [laughter] i cannot tell you how much better that looks than the version of the elephant [bleep] really the[looked a little too ] anyway. Senate, governors, you name it, republicans won it. Expwrierks it was a neck and neck battle but it turned out an easy win for the gop. Thom tillis the senator. He won the mansions in blue states like maryland. Republicans won six of them. Jon duma and chinas people iex รท now its the republican. The Blue Man Group now the Red Man Group having lost of two. Children will learn valuable less ....