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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20120321



referring to it now, lebarnany, germanon. last night was obviously tuesday night. you know what that means. once more on to the breech of endless suffrage 2012 as voters in alabama, mississippi, hawaii and american samoa headed to the polls to select the republican nominee for president, and the big story line was. it is make-or-break night for newt gingrich. this could be gingrich s last stand. if gingrich loses either of these southern states, where can he win? if you can t win there, you can t win anywhere. his rationale for moving forward starts to slip away. newt has to have the south. oh, it appears we have a gentleman caller and his head is enormous. [in southern accent] so did newt win the south? well, actually rick santorum won alabama and mississippi, and mitt romney won hawaii and american samoa. here s a little mnemonic device to help you remember. places you can get to in a winnebago go to santorum. places that require a jet or a yacht go to r ....

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20120306



laughing and a little bit of a sexy time. i know a lot of you do it while the show is on. tonight you may want to postpone those activities. because while the show will still be employing the spanish fly that is a comedyic take on political news we will be mixing it the electrodes to your genitals that is this cat. human cold shower rush limbaugh. see. as you probably heard, georgetown university law student testified before congress about how she supports the government mandate for health insurers to include contraception as part of women s preventive health care relating to her own situation utilizing birth control and a friend who needed it for medical condition. these words were. i will play for you. if you have one of these at home i suggest you put it on now. go ahead. georgetown law student sandra fluke said it s too expensive to have sex in law school without mandated insurance coverage. what does it say about the college co-ed susan fluke who goes before a co ....

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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart 20120229



conversation with raccoon and panda sex so don t know what we ll talk about tonight. but you may want to leave the room when we do. i m going to say romney won arizona handelly but the big result was michigan where all four candidates were defeated by a late surprise entrance the schitcy when from i understand he made impressive promises. when you order the schitky you get the little one. jon: it s a populous message that resonates in the difficult yet schmootzy times. romney kept putting his foot in the mouth he hired sew own mouth doesn t get feet in it and santorum released a robo call telling democratic voters to vote for him since michigan s republican party is open to all voters and mitt romney didn t care for the tactic. outrageous and disgusting. it s a new low in this campaign. i think rick santorum has a lot of explaining to do. jon: you ve got a lot of splaining to do, the close et he will get to the it will tino vote. what are the odds of the tape ex ....

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