Thats right. Thats right. Thank you. Thank you. Thank for your underwhelming response. Happu for y monday, everyone. Y d lets do some jokes. Donald trumps ex attorney, cohen, took the stand today in the hush money trial. We dont have Footagtodae Becaun cameras arent allowed in the courtroom. In the cou of cohenaget leaving and having lunch with your. Meanwhile, also in new york. The new play, coproduced by hillary, is bombing on broadway. [ all right. Yeah. And like her husband, bill,t shes not very good at filling seats. Do you know what that means . I dont. According to a shocking new study, many patientsaccordi on life support actually recover. So there should never be a rusah to pull the plug. Finally, some good news ford joe bidenen. In an from 2018 reveals that actress Stormy Daniels maw y be lying on the stand about her sexual encounter with donald trump. He encouleaving her with egg onr face or something similar in the interview. Intervie daniels insisted it wasnt a me too situ
Yes. And that. Oh, okay. Happy wednesday, everybody. Okay. Lets get to the jokes. President ial candidate junior claims that a while back, a worm eight part of his brainik came true, which led to memory problems. When reached for comment, the worm wh said. He was just trying to level the playing field. Ying i kid. Thats Somethingel Joe Bidende will never have to worry about. A brain according to stormyg tos daniels testimony yesterday. She donald trump with a forbesto magazine in a secret hoteld rendezvoustr. Steve forbes claims that counts as him having. But Forbes Magazine denies saying its all just a rumor. But hey, were getting it straight from horses mouth. In a related story in court, trump has been holding up one of stormis shoes for good luck due to due a rise in youth crime. The makers of the swiss armya knife are offering a new version without a bladrm e. I know a Swiss Army Knife without. On kn a knife. So nowif were transitioning. Whats a Swiss Army Knife without a knife .
The Student Intifada has engulfed the entire country. Oe the antiamerican revolution. Boiling over. I think to make a point to prove a point. Put him in the clink. Which prison would be best . Est. What about Guantanamo Bay . The media fantasizes overovet trumps demise. E. Stormy takes the stand. The good news is they is, have nothing. I started creating synthetic identities and i would buy. Houses in their name. Eventually, i went on the run. Eventualt being on the run was s it was just probably one of y the best times of my life. How one of americas most Prolific Con Men got it together. Plus, cops across the country are playing a game o of. Whacamole, every time they tear down a terror tent. N another pops up. University of Chicagao Riotsquab Squads busting in at the dead of night, tearing down hamas hutsd in and ripping apart homea barricades. While the key for antifapart s were fast asleep at the university of san diego. 64 arrests. Many of them werent even students. , cops found
Norris trumps first effort wins to trump kicks the campaign into overdrive, while bidens stuck in neutral. Now columbia cancels graduation. A prime Time Investigation into who funnelintos the money that s put more immigrants in cages than us Border Policies all night. Hes been using the schoolll that Aaron Hernandez night he t from under himself, the tom brady roast. Cancel culture over. Youll always be remembered as eli mannings. Plus. Rby an this is my first year be any advice . Yeah. I dont. So were six months from the finish line and only one guys hitting the gas. E gu trump hit up the Formula One Miami grand prix sunday, and fans thought he was elvis Manager Voting for him out of the running. I never want to be competing and marchingne down the racetrack. The former president chatted up withpit crewe presis and Met Wie Ceos Of Mclaren and f1 and got a lot of love from the crowde fs as the first car crossed the finish line. Even the Announcersr Ac were talking about them, mclaren s
Step against hamas at this hour. The idf confirms it has taken over control of the gaza side of the rafah border crossing. It connects the war torn territory to egypt. Officials say the operation was very precise and very limited, and say it was only in specific areas of eastern rafah. This is the first significant military action israel has taken in that part of the enclave, where more than a million palestinians are taking refuge. Israel claims the gaza side of the crossing was being used for terror activity. The idf says hamas fired mortars toward israels border from the area of the crossing over the weekend. Four idf soldiers were killed, several others were hurt. Israel says the operation is not yet over. 20 hamas militants were reportedly killed today while israel was taking control of the gaza side of the crossing. Three Terror Shafts were also apparently found in the area, and many questions still remain right now. And right now, its not clear if humanitarian aid is still being