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How to Apologize When You've Hurt Someone


After a stressful year when COVID-19 disrupted our lives, nerves are understandably frayed. Whether dealing with pandemic-related difficulties or other concerns, there have probably been instances where you weren’t your best self. You might have some relationships—with relatives, friends, partners, and colleagues—that need healing and reconciliation. This is where figuring out how to apologize comes in handy. No matter who is in the wrong, sometimes nothing soothes animosity faster than saying “I’m sorry,” but screwing up your apology can make things worse.
In
A Good Apology: Four Steps to Make Things Right, Molly Howes, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in Boston, delineates the elements of a solid apology. She explains that you should seek to understand the other person’s injury, offer sincere regret, make restitution, and show it’ll never happen again. As you can imagine, it’s easy to falter (especially when hurt feelings or de ....

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