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Hovis' Friday diary: 'I am traumatised, severely traumatised... and may not recover'

Hovis' Friday diary: 'I am traumatised, severely traumatised... and may not recover'
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Hovis' Friday diary: 'Trying to hang on to my feathers and my pride'

Dear diary, If this comes across as garbled at all, it’s because I am currently hiding in the field with every sense wired for maximum effect, eyes on stalks, ears tuned like a bat and ninja reflexes ready for action. Why the high alert? I hear you ask. Is this because your whereabouts has been […] ....

Jean Claude Van , Los Angeles , Bradley Wiggins , Jason Statham , Las Vegas , German Needle Man , Jean Claude Van Lamb , Barbie Boy ,

Hovis' Friday diary: 'I'm sleeping with one eye open'

Dear diary, So, spring has definitely sprung with yellow perils popping up with more frequency than members of the TOWIE cast at the opening of a new cut cost supermarket, and clouds with legs multiplying in every field I can see. Mother Nature however is still playing more of a “will she/won’t she” than Julia […] ....

United Kingdom , Julia Roberts , Las Vegas , Welsh Wazzock , Pony Club , Runaway Bride , Barbie Boy , Never Ending Story , River Prance , German Needle Man ,

Hovis' Friday diary: 'It's been a really bad week'

Dear diary, This week has not been good. Like really not good. On more fronts than a Hollywood plastic surgeon has put fake airbags. Bear with me and I shall explain. The weekend saw me having some much needed R&R as the mothership, mini-mother and the old squawky one, who I enjoy terrorising (otherwise know […] ....

United States , Own Country , Crazy New Boss Lady , German Needle Man , H Man Towers , Barbie Boy , Tiny Toothy Terrorist , Rainbow Bridge ,

Hovis' Friday diary: 'Forget the Ark – I need a chuffing submarine'

Dear diary, So, if 2022 was the year of Mother Nature forgetting to take her HRT and thus causing us all to sweat down to the size of a Shetland, then 2023 seems to be the year she forgot her Tena, because lord above it is wet. Like really really wet. Honestly, the amount of […] ....

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