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VATICAN CITY As youthful vigor rapidly returned to the supreme pontiff, Pope Francis reportedly appeared 40 years younger Friday after finally masturbating for the first time. “Since finally pleasuring myself after all these years, I look and feel better than I ever have!” said the spry 86-year-old pope, who now had a…
TUSCALOOSA, AL Noting that while watching pornographic movies had often left him feeling anxious, depressed, and mired in sexual frustration, local man James Kaiser told reporters Tuesday that their harmful effects were nothing compared to when he masturbated using his imagination. “Yes, pornography is extremely…