And looking at him, id say the street won. [ laughter and applause ] ill see you next time. [ laughter ] after President Trump struck a deal with democrats to increase the debt ceiling, he tweeted on friday, quote, republicans sorry, but i have been hearing about repeal and replace for seven years, didnt happen. Wow, thats shocking. Donald trump said sorry. [ light laughter ] thousands of students in houston returned to school today after a twoweek delay caused by hurricane harvey. But dont worry, kids, no matter how much school you miss, you can still be secretary of education some day. [ laughter and applause ] former white house aide Sebastian Gorka predicted today there will be another shakeup in the white house staff before christmas. Oh, you think so, nostradamus . [ light laughter ] people leave the white house so often, they are reusing the same goodbye cake. [ light laughter ] good luck out there, reince. Okay, scrape off the icing and write in mooch. [ light laughter ] accord
And looking at him, id say the street won. [ laughter and applause ] ill see you next time. [ laughter ] after President Trump struck a deal with democrats to increase the debt ceiling, he tweeted on friday, quote, republicans sorry, but i have been hearing about repeal and replace for seven years, didnt happen. Wow, thats shocking. Donald trump said sorry. [ light laughter ] thousands of students in houston returned to school today after a twoweek delay caused by hurricane harvey. But dont worry, kids, no matter how much school you miss, you can still be secretary of education some day. [ laughter and applause ] former white house aide Sebastian Gorka predicted today there will be another shakeup in the white house staff before christmas. Oh, you think so, nostradamus . [ light laughter ] people leave the white house so often, they are reusing the same goodbye cake. [ light laughter ] good luck out there, reince. Okay, scrape off the icing and write in mooch. [ light laughter ] accord
Senator ted cruzs twitter account last night liked a pornographic video about a woman who finds a couple having sex on her couch. Ew, gross, said the porn stars after hearing that ted cruz watched them. [ laughter and applause ] thats right. Ted cruzs twitter account was caught liking a pornographic post last night. Its the secondmost embarrassing thing cruz has been caught liking. [ laughter and applause ] President Trump will reportedly visit china in november. Oh, can you pick up my handbags, asked ivanka. [ laughter and applause ] in a recent interview with Time Magazine white house adviser Kellyanne Conway said that the key to her success is to, quote, think like a man and behave like a lady. Also dress like no one is watching. [ laughter and applause ] eric trump announced today that his wife has given birth to a baby boy. You know, we here at late night have made a lot of jokes about eric trump [ laughter ] congratulations, eric. The kangaroo population in australia has grown fr
Senator ted cruzs twitter account last night liked a pornographic video about a woman who finds a couple having sex on her couch. Ew, gross, said the porn stars after hearing that ted cruz watched them. [ laughter and applause ] thats right. Ted cruzs twitter account was caught liking a pornographic post last night. Its the secondmost embarrassing thing cruz has been caught liking. [ laughter and applause ] President Trump will reportedly visit china in november. Oh, can you pick up my handbags, asked ivanka. [ laughter and applause ] in a recent interview with Time Magazine white house adviser Kellyanne Conway said that the key to her success is to, quote, think like a man and behave like a lady. Also dress like no one is watching. [ laughter and applause ] eric trump announced today that his wife has given birth to a baby boy. You know, we here at late night have made a lot of jokes about eric trump [ laughter ] congratulations, eric. The kangaroo population in australia has grown fr
Her new netflix special, chucklebee. [ laughter and applause ] musician and Prospective Senate candidate, kid rock gave a political speech last night in detroit and said, i love black people and i love white people too, but neither as much as i love red, white and blue. [ laughter ] oh, god. Oh, god, hes gonna win. The white house announced today that President Trump will sign a resolution passed by congress that condemns white supremacists. Oh, i can see it now, okay, donald j. Trunch. What . I signed it, i signed it. [ laughter ] former White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer was named a visiting fellow at Harvard University today, which is pretty much what he was at the white house. [ laughter and applause ] oh, sean hes just visiting. According to new data, american women earned about 80 as much as their male counterparts last year. Said one woman, i dont have male counterparts. [ laughter and applause ] former White House Communications director, Anthony Scaramucci went to twitter