It has a very different outcome than he has. and the only thing that i ve been able to, home and i m sure that we call gray, is when i come home, as loving as he is, as wonderful as he is, as much as he understands racism, he also is like, well, did you just smile? and i m like, i don t have the pecks and knuckles muscles and biceps. i can t just smile and disarms people because there is a wanting there that is not there. a desire. and it is a desire to be close to him. i think we also do absorb and internalize the racism that black men receive that were in relationships with. i had a husband. you know him is ball. he used to have long dress. he used to face direct racism. we talked about hair earlier, meaning someone with dreads. people are like, i think i m nervous to be in a room with you. and then you can say, oh, he s ....