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Somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. Trevor lets kick things off with donald trump, the first president whos a nonessential worker. Yesterday a tape dropped of an interview he did with bob woodward in february where he admitted he purposefully downplayed the risk of coronavirus. We know why, its because he didnt want to spook his precious stock market. Whoa, whoa, easy, girl. Easy, gil. Its okay, nasdaq, everythings fine. You just keep going out, girl. Now when normal people get caught on tape admitting they lied to an entire country, they usually apologize, but donald trump didnt become president by being normal, so yesterday he doubled down. Did you mislead the public by saying that you downplayed the coronavirus and that you repeatedly did that in order to reduce panic . Did you mislead the public . Well, i think if you said in order to reduce panic, perhaps thats. So the fact is im a cheerleader for this country, i love our country and ....
Now substituting for colorado, number four, kyle broflovski. Oh jesus. Hes about to play. [gunfire] [grunting] mrs. Garrison, grab kyle. Which one is he . Arrrhhh. Ohhh. Hey, what the hell . Stop the game ahhhh ohhh. I got it. I got the ball. Kyle, no broflovski goes for the dunk. No my baaaaaaalllllssssss aagh. [screams] so let me get this straight. That woman over there was trying to get to her balls which were in the knees of a black child whose father is a dolphin. Yeah, thats basically it. Sounds like an open and shut case. All right, lets head em out. Im sorry, kyle. I should i have told you the surgery was cosmetic only. So does this mean im not really a dolphin . Lets get you two up to the clinic, and ill change you back for a nominal fee. But what about mr. Garrison . He cant go back. You know what, im okay. Even though im not truly a woman, i think i still like the new me. Id rather be a woman who cant have periods than a fag. Hey, guys this girl is staying a woman. Who wants ....
Go ahead. Yes maria all of this coming up. Donald trumps economic speech yesterday. We are breaking down the economic plan coming up. A scare in the heart of new new york city to report, gunshots fired after a man attacked a police officer, an update with the officers condition, we will tell you what went down coming up. A massive recall with chrysler, 2 million cars off the road which are tie today at least three deaths. Samsung recall now finally the response to the exploding batteries could be helping iphone 7 sales, the new device hitting stores today. Why gasoline prices on the upswing very soon and Deutsche Bank still haunted by the financial crisis. The Justice Department hitting the german lender with a 14 billiondollar fine over toxic mortgages. The stock continues to plunge this morning again, the bank says it will fight back. Futures, meanwhile pointing to a low ....