laughter because as of midnight last night the government of the United States officially closed for business. Finally a chance to use our famous nationbuilding skills right at home. laughter and jimmy, tell the folks what else weve won. The federal government has shut its doors for the first time in nearly two decades. The landmark monuments and museums in washington, d. C. Will be shut down. I. R. S. Tax refunds will be suspended. New home loans from the federal Housing Administration wont be processed. The nations 400 National Parks will be shut down. Virtually all of nasa will go dark. Employees at the e. P. A. , the Environmental Protection agency which regulates the quality of our air and water, they could lose 94 of its work force. Stephen no e. P. A. . Okay, well, time to dump some old house paint down the storm drain laughter there we go. There we go. laughter this will take a second. Sorry. There you go. cheers and applause sorry. Sorry, dolphins. You had a good run. laughter
Much. Nation, thank you for joining me in here, out there, all around the world. Mr. And mrs. America. Nation, you know it is day 10 of the government shutdown. You know what day 10. Let me actually just add that to my frequent shutdown punch card here. Right there. Oh, hey i win a free c. D. C. Ebola morningy. All right, thats fantastic. Now, folks, tonight, tonight, there are dramatic new developments in the obamaboehner shutdown debt ceiling Tag Team Death match. There has evidently been some progress in that they have found new things to completely disagree about. All right, that, information, that is the big news. But ive only told it to you so far. I havent newsed it at awe. laughter and we all know that is the ultimate show of a tv newsman. You may not then because youre not in the biz, but we in broadcasting tend to model ourselves on our heroes heroes. Sean hannity modeled himself on ground beef. laughter i myself, i myself, look to the unshakable confidence of the bill oreill
All of your favorites together in one work room. Stop making excuses. Project runway allstars is back and we have your look at season three. Entertainment. Gossip. Life. Team ok starts now. Welcome to ok tv it is what everyone is talking about, the split of one of americas most watched couples. The first tore report the separation. What can you tell us . The couple has finally confirmed the worst kept secret in hollywood. Releasing a statement in which they are concerned that their marriage is over. They said that they are living separately and are much happier that way. They went on to say that even though they are separated, they will always remain best friends and their family will remain their number one priority. That begs the question, what went wrong . The tension in the relationship began about three months ago, around the same time that Kim Kardashian gave birth to northwest. North west. Jenner had moved to malibu, where he has led a separate life for the last three months. Mu
Stephen whooo welcome to the report, thank you for joining us, ladies and gentlemen. Stephen, stephen, stephen stephen, stephen, stephen stephen, stephen, stephen cheers and applause stephen welcome to the report, everybody. Thank you so much for joining us. Oh, thank you ladies and gentlemen, please, sit down. Folks, it is yet another electric night here at the report. Why . Why . cheers and applause why, well, first of all because its tuesday. laughter ask anybody, theyll tell you. But mostly cheers and applause but mostly because its day five of the sochi winter games. Now im a busy man so im not completely caught up on the olympic action. Ive been tivoing them and last night i was thrilled to see the team usa Gabby Douglas clinched the allaround gymnastic gold. Truly historic. Yeah to go, gabby. America loves you. cheers and applause but i was excited to read that team usa has already won some huge golds in sochi like mens and womens slop slopestyle. I have noed where what that is.