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[ cheers and applause ] jimmy hello. Thats very kind. Im jimmy. Im the host of the show. Thank you for watching. Thank you for coming. You did it. You made it. Dreams really do come true. We have much to get to tonight, including Jerry Seinfeld who is here in our studio for the first time. [ cheers and applause ] which is very exciting. Wait till you see his teeth, theyre perfect. [ laughter ] you will be amazed and delighted. Heres some good news, i think. According to a new report from the Washington Post, americans are sleeping more than they ever have. Or at least since scientists started sneaking into our rooms and measuring how much were sleeping. [ laughter ] we are sleeping more than we have in the last 20 years. As i look around, i see that some of you are sleeping right now before my eyes. [ laughter ] i do think about that sometimes. People watching at home, falli ....
Jimmy hello. Im jimmy. Im the host of the show. Thank you for watching. Thank you for coming. You did it. You made it. Dreams really do come true. We have much to get to tonight, including Jerry Seinfeld who is here in our studio for the first time. [ cheers and applause ] which is very exciting. Wait till you see his teeth, theyre perfect. [ laughter ] you will be amazed and delighted. Heres some good news, i think. According to a new report from the Washington Post, americans are sleeping more than they ever have. Or at least since scientists started sneaking into our rooms and measuring how much were sleeping. [ laughter ] we are sleeping more than we have in the last 20 years. As i look around, i see that some of you are sleeping right now before my eyes. [ laughter ] i do think about that sometimes. People watching at home, falling asleep while we work on the jokes and ....
From nbc news World Headquarters in new york this is nbc nightly news. Reporting tonight, lester holt. Good evening. We begin with breaking news. The federal indictment announced of a man who was once one of most powerful politicians in this country. Former speaker of the house Dennis Hastert charged in connection with a scheme to pay more than 3 million of apparent hush money to someone and then lying to the fbi about the cash. The burning questions who is he paying and why . Our justice correspondent Pete Williams has late details. Reporter the charges are a bolt from the blue involving Dennis Hastert, a public official for more than 25 years an house speaker, the long serving republican in the house. The chair reporter since 2008 hes been a lobbyist here in wa ....
But its far too early for me to say anything about that at this point while were still learning information about what exactly happened. And we are still learning about exactly what happened, but the other fact of the matter is that were just months away from turning over control of security in afghanistan to those afghan forces. I dont think anybody was under the illusion throughout this period when the decision was made to withdraw most of the u. S. Troops that it would not be fraught, that there would not be problems along the way, but without a doubt what happened today will raise some concerns. There is an ongoing investigation, and they will take a look at those protocols and see if theres any way to improve them to reduce the risk of this happening again, krystal. All right, chris jansing. Thank you so much for that update. And more breaking news now on the ebola emergency. The second american ebola patient is now being treated at New York , United States , Israel General , Tel Aviv , District Of Columbia , United Kingdom , Al Qahirah , Town Hall , Saudi Arabia , Sierra Leone , South Africa , Paul Mccartney , John Brennan , John Lennon , Mana Raju , Eric Cantor , Brad Pitt , Elizabeth Littlefield , Larry David , Steve King , John Kerry , Barack Obama , Michelle Obama , Jim Kim , Trey Parker , Patrick Sawyer ,
I used to get the rolling of the eyes. Shes the clean comic. Sorry for you why are loss. When you can be just as funny as those who are dirty. Im clean now, right . My job is to make you laugh. Just be funny. Thats all. The first thing that comes to my mind when i hear the term clean comedy, oh, god, no. Then i remember, oh, there is clean comedy i really like. Left handed people do not like that the word left is so often associated with negative things. Left hand compliment. What are we having for dinner . Leftovers. You go to a party. Theres nobody there. Where did everybody go . They left. Mostly when i hear clean comedy, its boring. Let me decide. There is a vegetarian hot pocket for those of us who dont want to eat meat but still would like diarrhea. Hot pocket if i had to write it out, clean comedy would be no swearing and nothing that is what i consider offensive. There is a standard that says, you can trust me with your audience. We wont just throw it all out there to be offens ....