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Shares a story from wherever, i judge it, vote on the winner and something happens. you know, i m going you seem pretty excited kat kat: i am. greg: why don t you go first kat: midwest news baby. greg: yeah? what happened? kat: the corn in iowa is okay! [cheers and applause] kat: yeah. greg: wait, we have footage of the corn kat: no, no, no. do not demean this like some big city metropolitan guy, okay? it was a dry climate. they were thinking maybe the corn s not going to be okay. and, you know what? it is! all the sweet corn, the sweet corn is okay. but, you know, you thinking you re out of the woods you re not. a local farmer named mike from des moines who says he s more concerned about the next harvest which, by the way, is going to be in late august. and so i just think that we all need to keep in in our hearts and our minds and our thoughts andly keep everybody updated ....
Afters and he s going to snort it or he s going to sprinkle it or he s going to bathe in it instantaneously and pink s like, i don t know what to do with this. she like locked up. thank god that s not how you declare war in england, you know? i throw my mother s ashes at you. greg: i find that an incredible leap to go from pink as an indictment on all women. but okay. kat? kat: this is really messed up to do this. it is very messed up to throw your mother s ashes at pink during her best song. greg: yeah kat: this one and don t let me get me are the best songs. don t throw the ashes then. throws the ashes when the artist is like, all right, who wants to hear some new music. nobody does. janice: do we know that they re ashes? it could have been shake and bake. greg: that s true. i miss a good shake and bake. janice: me too. michael: maybe that was mom s ....
So for our south korean viewers, here s wha honeymoon. a ze ro loo [laughter] greg: kat, i go to you first because you are women and women care about their age. how happy would you be to find out you re a year younger than you are now? would you go crazy kat: i would not care at all because i m still decaying at the same rate. greg: but you have another year of decay kat: no. i m still the same level of decomposed. i m still on the same half to the slow march of death that we all are r just a different number doesn t change anything. greg: really? kat: no. greg: that s ridiculous. what if you found out you re a year older? kat: if i m still me it doesn t matter. greg: it does matter because if you found out you got an extra year kat: if i got an extra year, they messed up my birth certificate indicate that i m actually physically younger then yes that s exciting. because that means i m not on the march i was. greg: that s the point i was ....
coast to coast with stories that matter most. you re watching local news with 59-time emmy award winner chet van jansen. and now here s chet. greg: all right, thank you. thank you. i want to thank everybody who s been asking about chet van hansen s health. we ve relayed those concerns to him but he is brain dead. so don t be giving money to that gofundme page unless the checks are made out to me because i am in charge of kat: why is his name van hansen now? greg: what was it? kat: jansen. greg: jansen. dam it. anyway kat: for the last seven months it s been jansen. greg: he s up to 70 emmys they don t really count because they re local but still everyone ....
Enemies. greg: you re starting to make it sound like it would be fun. kat have you ever been rewarded for failing. doesn t it bother you? we have to achieve to succeed kat: not only are they losers but also they re expensive losers. there are so many kids going to school going into debt to learn from losers. and it s just a horrible model but it s still working, you know, for the universities themselves but i think i figured out kamala. greg: what? kat: i think i finally figured it out. you know how we know from all these articles that are super well sourced and researched. she s a tyrant to work for. a total jerk. clearly what she s doing in these interviews and speeches is pretending to be happy and friendly. that gets confusing this is what she thinks a happy friendly person acts like. where was your case study, bonaroo? because she seems to be acting like a person artificially happy due to polly substance drug ....