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Detailed text transcripts for TV channel - CNN - 20180820:02:40:00

And cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. before treatment, get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you ve been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if you ve had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don t start humira if you have an infection. woman 6: need more proof? woman 7: ask your rheumatologist about humira. man 1: what s your body of proof? -morning. -morning. -what do we got? -keep an eye on that branch. might get windy. have a good shift. fire pit. last use 0600. i d stay close. morning. get ready to switch. protected by flo. should say, protected by alan and jamie. -right? -should it? when you bundle home and auto. run, alan! .you get more than just savings. you get round-the-clock protection. ....

Nervous System Problems , Hepatitis B , Heart Failure , Comics Don T , Fire Pit , Protected By Alan And Jamie ,

Detailed text transcripts for TV channel - CNN - 20180820:05:55:00

Because i can t. you ever look like [ bleep ]? it s like test a battery. i m too dirty to do corporates. and it s amazingly unfortunate because there s a lot of money in corporates. and i wish i could. believe me, i would be gaffigan in a second if i could be gaffigan. i did a very conservative jewish restaurant. they had this whole list of words that you couldn t say, one of which was tuches. i m like, what? they re trying help the comedian by saying don t be too dirty. don t be too offensive. because what s going to happen is you re going to say some questionable joke about sexuality and then steve from finance is going to laugh so hard that it s going to be awkward to work with steve for the rest of the year and he s going to be fired. in the bible i found out jesus had a little brother. anybody know his name? james. when i read that i was like, how ....

Jim Gaffigan , Conservative Jewish , Comics Don T , Couldnt Say , Little Brother ,

Detailed text transcripts for TV channel - CNN - 20180820:02:53:00

Is technology with the power to change your life. life. to the fullest. two years ago i was asked to perform at a charity golf tournament in new jersey and i said yes because i m not against charity. [ laughter ] i m not going to [ bleep ] charity. what am i? a monster. the only thing about being a clean comic i think is it s often associated with corporate events. as a professional comedian, you have to learn if you do a corporate gig, it has to be clean. they say get up and entertain these people but don t say anything that would be entertaining and then you go all right. you go up and do your best. ....

Charity Golf Tournament , New Jersey , Comics Don T , Say Anything ,

Detailed text transcripts for TV channel - CNN - 20180820:02:55:00

Because there is a lot of money in corporate. believe me, i would do it in a second if i could. i did a very conservative jewish restaurant. they had this whole list of words that you couldn t say, one of which was tookis. i m like what? they are trying to help the comedian by saying don t be too dirty, don t be too offensive because what is going to happen is you re going to say a questionable joke about sexuality and then steve from finance is going to laugh so hard that it s going to be awkward to work with steve for the rest of the year and he s going to be fired. i was reading a bible and found out jesus had a little brother. anybody know his name? james. when i read that i was like how much pressure was that? jesus, your big brother? how many times do you have to hear why can t you be more like jesus james? there is a specific church ....

Couldnt Say , Conservative Jewish , Comics Don T , Saying Dont Be Too Dirty , Jesus James , Little Brother , Church Circuit Comedians , Big Brother ,

Detailed text transcripts for TV channel - CNN - 20180820:02:26:00

Sinbad. i was dirty when i started. a lot of people don t know. i was dirty when i started. i sounded like everybody else. i said i wonder if i could clean it up, and then pick up, and i did. people act like they ain t never been in mcdonald s, got the same menu, you guys are going, oh, give me, uh, let me see if you have, uh, you know what they got. i don t care how you do it, if that joke doesn t work without the cuss words, it s not a joke. it should be able to swing both ways. if you could swing it through both ways, you got yourself a joke, a routine. those comedians who don t rely in blue comedy, they rely on their words and the punch lines and the deliveries. please welcome jerry ste ....

People Dont Know , Everybody Else , Ain T , Mcdonald S , Doesnt Work , Cuss Words , Comics Don T , Jerry Ste Steinfeld ,