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for the first time yesterday and was like, what? it s been a while since the supreme court treated the constitution as anything but a paper towel for when biden. america banned slavery. here is an interesting fact that folks at reuters just dug up, i love reuters. powerful people in the u.s., supreme court justices, governors and legislatures descended from slave owners, including republican mitch mcconnell. i d say he took one on the chin, we all know that is not possible. [laughter] greg: lindsey graham, langford and tom cotton. cotton, his name gave that away. if he ran for president, he should use the slogan picked cotton. not going to work in the cities. [laughter] greg: i m sorry. i would not advise that either. greg: if old white men did not surprise you, how about dems, duckworth, sheehen, liz warren and maggie. liz warren must be asking how, how. how is this possible? fun part, every living president is descendent of slave owners, except one. can you gu ....
aw! greg: you know it s illegal to write poodles dressed up as a cowgirl? ha-ha. greg: just checking. we re breaking new ground. it s time for scratch-n-sniff monologue. this has never been done and probably for good reason, but it s true. at any moment, you, dear viewer, will be asked to scratch the tv screen when an image appears, and then you have to guess what that image smells like. i know! there s something wrong with me. there s something wrong with me, but isn t this fun? it s a special treat for all of you at home and for our fans watching for free at best buy. so let s go to the 1st one. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. yeah. all right. huh? huh? oh yeah, there you go. the scratch-n-sniff. get up there. get up to your screen. smell it. smell it. smell your fingers. get up there. all right, what s that smell like? what s that smell like? now if you guessed parmesan cheese, you win. but we will accept crisco, because we know he does. hunter claims his dad viewe ....
Oh, yes, i. I know how you feel. Happy tuesda y. Once again, the white house has been caught editing the transcript of a biden speech changing. I was vp during the pandemic, too. I was vp during the recession. Theyv pandee even cleaned up se his videos, removing his mistakes. My names joe biden. Thank you. Oh, yeah. Edgyu. Michael cohen admitted he stole Tens Of Thousandhes of dollars from trumps business. His defenders say, howeverrom, that hes like robin hood. He stole from the rich and gave to the senator patty murray introduced a bill to mandate Auto Safety Testing with both male and female crash test dummies. You can tell the difference becausale in the crashes its always the female dummy driving. Its true. Cant argue with science. People saye a Scie A Pennsylvana resident dug up a significant amount o ....
jessica: welcome back. it is time for the fastest. first up, cocaine sharks. do i really need to say anything more? scientists are looking into whether the deadly beast off florida s coast are gobbling up bundles of cocaine dropped by drug smugglers. scientists have noticed sharks are acting more aggressive and strangely fixated on objects that are not there. sounds like a coke head. greg, do you think the sharks on coke? greg: what did we learn yesterday? jessica: nothing is real greg: i m going to do this every day. it is summertime. any story that has shark as a prefix is fake. if the sharks got the coke, so to every other fish. they are not saying any other fish, they are saying shark because you say sharks, people go, what? it is a shark story. ....
Made threats. if you know the guy is a coke head, talk trash or end with a bullet in your head. these are not people you shake down unless he fears you. i am sitting next to my dad, this is going to be a problem. if he was full of it, they would be like, do what you got to do, we are not paying you a dime. there was fear there. it is there without seeing it. no one will let somebody shake you down that has no stroke or power? no, you will whoop his ass, and tell him to shut up. no one is saying anything back, he had the big guy. greg: all right. you can applaud. [applause] greg: great way to move on. climate nuts take a position on an american tradition. ....