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Dont laugh. This fugitive has been at it for years. No one has ever caught him. He appears to haae a very vitaminrich diet. Watch what he does to a bathroom at the container store. Im saying he, but that mighh be a woman. No need to profile. All right. Here he is at his most diabolical. Come on. Not the cleaning supplies. Mexican ladies have to touch those. His yellow rain of terror must be stopped. Im counting on you guys to help me. If ou see anyone drinking a suspicious amount of liquid, please email the show. Do not approach the subject. His gladder is extremely full you might be sitting across from the yellow peepee monster as we speak. All right. This week, bigfoot dies. Finally, you will be shot on pight if you attempt to trick or treat on my property. You have been warned. Good night. laughter from Comedy Centrals world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. [daily show theme song playing] ....
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, dawg. Yo, and i told you dawgs about messin with me i done told you dawg about messin with d when a dawg starts to bark and followed by a bite thats when you feel the pain and headed for the light dont get upset dawg thats just how a dawg do and i wont stop beatin until the dawgs through rrr, arrr i bring that real steal baby rrr, arrr for that real meal, baby yo jay z, holler at em. Yo its your boy, yall called me in the building. Its your boy jay z in the building. Ha, ha, ha. Yo, its jay hover homies i told you the games over i got locked it off yall [bleep] up it said stop carding persona made for martyr think you got it locked on barber, im taking the game farther its your boy new york, thank you. [cheers, whistles applause] captioning made possible by Comedy Central. Captioned by mccaptioning services reseda, california. From Comedy Centrals worl ....
Then i stop at a stoplight, and, once im stopped, and everything is safe, take a bite. All right, here we go. [mumbling] hold on. Make a left right there. Make a what . Uhhuh, go left. Make a left. Right. Right . No right or left . You make up your mind deandra, shut up well, dude, now that were alone, you can admit it. I mean, i swayed you on evolution a little bit, right . Well, i [tires screech, metal crunches] ah thats crazy that is insane how do you hit me again . It was deandras fault. What . She gave me the wrong directions. Guys, it was actually pretty cut and dry. It was dees fault. I was trying to give directions and she interrupted me. What are you talking about . I was reiterating charlie was giving directions so this is your fault . Wait, this is perfect. Guys, we were all here to witness it. It was dees fault, shell pay for the damages. Absolutely. She should, yeah. Dont you dare. No, it was oh, you know, i have an idea. Should we have a trial . Me and charlie . Already h ....
The senate. I feel so confident. This is a great plan. I actually think it will get even better. This is make no mistake, this is a repeal and a replace of obamacare, make no mistake about it. Premiums will be coming down, yes, deductibles will be coming down. Very importantly, it is a great plan and ultimately thats what its all about. We knew that wasnt going to work. I predicted it a long time ago. I said its failing. Now its obvious that its failing, its essentially dead. This has brought the Republican Party together. As much as weve come up with a really incredible Healthcare Plan, this has brought the Republican Party together. Shannon john roberts is live on a very rainy stormy morning on the north lawn. Good morning, john. This president would never admit to taking a day off. He is in new jersey today at hi ....
[ applause ] thank you. Thank you to the coast guard. On a cold december morning in 1903 a miracle occurred over the do you knows of kitty hawk, north carolina, when two bicycle make frers ohio defied gravity with a 12 horsepower engine wingsed made of cotton and a few dollars in their pockets. Just a few decades later america was training pilots to take the magnificent machineries up and over the field of battle. In world war ii our fly boys rushed the skies of europe and aces like eddieicen backer fill the hearts and headlines with tales of daring duals in the clouds. General Billy Mitchell saw the promise of the technology and risked court morgues in his quest for an independent air force. He was proven right when empires across the ocean tried to carve up the world for themselves and america stood in the way. We wouldnt let it happen. [ applause ] after pearl harbor, Lieu ....