[ cheering and applause ] i know. must be hard to want what you can t have. happy thursday everyone. nancy pelosi snapped at a reporter, asking her about biden dropping out and she said am i speaking english to you? last time nancy snapped like that was when they forgot to properly fasten her face. president biden turned down trumps challenged it played golf with the money going to charity. hunter agreed saying a charity? i thought i already paid her off [ laughter ] the astronauts stuck in space from starliner problems are confident that boeing will get them home safely. win they heard joe biden is still in the race they said we will take the chances up here. [ laughter ] with donald trump set to announce his bp soon doug bertram is rumored to be at the top of the list. trump likes his government style but also really enjoys his cereal. [ laughter ] you will never unseat that. three administrators at columbia have been permanently removed after posting anti-semitic texts.
of adjoining is, i m sandra smith. john: and john roberts, naydamac with martha starts right now. martha: thank you very much, good afternoon everybody, a martha maccallum and this is the story . today as it continues to build at this hour cagle blonde new calls for president biden to step aside from some of the most influential democrats of the obama era. former house speaker nancy pelosi, who stresses to the current president of that time is running out for him to make a decision. we have a lot to get to, you will be joined in a moment by what has national security communications advisor john kirby as president joe biden meets with nato leaders in washington and tries to prove to the world and to some members of his own party that he can continue to be commander in chief for another 4 years. [ ] all right, interesting a moment from this morning to john kirby in just a moment about a said to bring in commander-in-chief question, retired general jack keane, now ch
me. my needless condolences go out to you, the audience. you thought you were getting got filled. instead, you re getting someone taller, better looking, and someone who didn t get fired from a magazine. you got watters! instead. this is like buying tickets to see jerry seinfeld and carrot top takes the stage. i give you your money back, but i found out got filled doesn t charge anybody to come see the show which makes sense. but there is a silver lining. unlike a normal show, none of tonight s jokes will go over your head. that i promise you. it s me. and it s an honor to step into greg s shoes today even though it kind of hurts because he is a size 6. greg has been on a hot streak recently. he needs a break. a number one best seller, a new house, a baby boy. wait, that s me. you would think greg would want a baby. finally someone in his life who is shorter than he is. also someone to laugh at his jokes. greg has a strange sense of humor, doesn t he? it s almost like there
stick with the of kabul is imminent. speak of imminent fall of kabul. the fall of kabul. the taliban has entered the city. the fall of kabul as the taliban completes its takeover of afghanistan. broadcasting live from inside the presidential palace. greg: i blame those pesky whites and pharmacists. you would figure we would have a plan for this but this is the most botched pullout since hunter knocked out that stripper. 20 years, doing $2 and no plan. or maybe we had a plan but joe left it at the men s room. this crowd is quiet. oh, now you are laughing. wake up, people. i know it s monday but [bleep] if we knew this would happen the moment we left, what gives. i m not here to see i told you so because i never did. i was like most everyone else, spending the last decade forgetting afghanistan existed and watching the bachelor which is either a testament to the effect of effectiveness out of our military are my very short attention span. the telegram sets its sights on
happy free friday, everyone. almost the weekend, or what kat likes to call a two day blackout. speaking of, lisa boothe is back on the show. quite an achievement, given [applause] sure, why not. while go, somebody had a problem back there. i guess we should be grateful given her and kat s commute to the studio today. you think that is bad, you should see the park. chicks. a sexist would say that. so, you know what i love more than world peace, red wine, and light bondage? a poll on americans trust in the media is like injecting adorable puppies into my waiting veins, and lo and behold, we got one. new gallup poll shows 75% of the country has no faith in legacy media. it s funny people still use newspapers to get their news. a way to start the day before they spend the next 12 hours churning their own butter. but only 21% of respondents said they had a great deal of confidence in newspapers, which of course they get from reading [laughter] it was worse for tv news at 16%,