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Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20180126

( cheers and applause ) but first, big news out of china. a major scientific breakthrough reported globally tonight for the first time scientists in china have cloned two healthy monkeys. these two female monkeys are seven and eight weeks old and represent the next big step in cloning. this is the first time primates have been cloned. the chinese scientists say they have no intention of cloning humans. trevor: really? ( laughter ) making duplicate monkeys? that s how committed china is to producing cheap knockoffs? ( laughter ) they re infringing on god s copyright? really? ( laughter ) by the way, i love how the scientists say they have no intention of cloning humans. that is such a suspicious phrase. like if your friend said i have no intention of going home, taking a bubble bath and sticking the rubber ducky up my butt. you will be listening to hear if he squeaks, you know you are. ( laughter ) i don t want scientists to clone humans. it brings up messy questions

Transcripts For COM The Daily Show 20180126

- i love you, baby murray. i love you. - [crying] from comedy central s world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) trevor: welcome to the daily show, everybody! thank you so much for tuning in! i m trevor noah. thank you, everybody! thank you! tonight s guest, the president of planned parenthood, cecile richards is here, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) but first, big news out of china. a major scientific breakthrough reported globally tonight for the first time scientists in china have cloned two healthy monkeys. these two female monkeys are seven and eight weeks old and represent the next big step in cloning. this is the first time primates have been cloned. the chinese scientists say they have no intention of cloning humans. trevor: really? ( laughter ) making duplicate monkeys? that s how committed china is to producing cheap knockoffs? ( laughter ) they re infringing on god s copyright? re

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