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Becoming a Mother While Estranged from Your Own ELLE 2 hrs ago Naima Coster © Courtesy of Naima Coster. Author Naima Coster’s relationship with her mother was always rocky. Then she became pregnant with her daughter. When I decided I was ready to become a mother, I knew the first thing I had to do was set boundaries with my own. We’d had no good runs, cycling between distance and detachment, months-long silent feuds, and stretches where she made me her confidante: calling to say she was miserable, her life unbearable, and she’d have been better off if I’d never been born. I considered all this an improvement from what our relationship had been when I lived under her roof. She abused me in more ways than one, but what hurt most was my deep sense that I didn’t matter to her. She didn’t ask questions or take interest in my life. We didn’t go shopping together, watch movies, or play games. If I asked her if she wanted to talk for a few minutes, s

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