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Detailed text transcripts for TV channel - MSNBC - 20110505:11:56:00

We found out he was hiding deep inside a hole just 100 yards north of the jacuzzi hot tub area. today at my direction, alberto, my gardener/guy who helps me get down from my horse chuckle thunder went in and rooted out the gopher. the gopher was buried in accordance with gopher burial traditions. he was wrapped in a bathroom mat and thrown in my neighbor s yard. so i repeat, ardilla the gopher is dead. god bless america, and god bless this sizzler, although it would be better if the sizzler had a taco bar. some of them do. sir, they ve killed osama bin laden. they got bin laden? that s good news. there also is a taco bar here. that s three good things. it s a great day for america. how did i miss it? show me where it is. ....

Chuckle Thunder , Hot Tub , Bathroom Mat , Ardilla The Gopher , Gopher Burial Traditions , Osama Bin Laden , In Dallas , Taco Bar , God Bless America , It Sa Great Day ,

Detailed text transcripts for TV channel - MSNBC - 20110505:09:53:00

Identified a head gopher who i named ardilla. we found out he was hiding deep inside a hole just 100 yards north of the jacuzzi hot tub area. today at my direction, my gardner/guy who helps me get down from my horse, chocolate thunder, went in and rooted out the gopher. the gopher was buried in accordance with gopher burial traditions. he was wrapped in a bathroom mat and thrown in my neighbor s yard. so, i repeat, ardilla the gopher is dead. god bless america and god bless this sizzler. although it would be better if this sizzler had a taco bar. some of them do. sir, they ve killed osama bin laden. they got bin laden? well, that s two good things. there also is a taco bar here? there s a taco bar here. that s three great things. ....

Head Gopher , Ardilla The Gopher , Hot Tub , Amy Gardner , Chocolate Thunder , Gopher Burial Traditions , Bathroom Mat , God Bless America , Osama Bin Laden On Sunday , Taco Bar ,

Detailed text transcripts for TV channel - MSNBC - 20110505:11:55:00

Standings. boston, four games out. i m just bringing you information. four games out. tied at last. just a mean person. this will make you happier. will ferrell is george w. bush coming out with a companion announcement. the president had his big announcement about the killing of osama bin laden. will ferrell s george w. bush with another announcement from the sizzler in dallas. good evening. tonight, as a 1400 hours military time, i can report to america, the world and the folks here at this sizzler steakhouse on canyon ranch road right outside my gate guarded community where i also frequently eat lunch that i ve personally overseen a strategic and covert operation that killed the gopher who has been tearing up my backyard. a reliable source, my gardener, alberto, identified a head gopher who i named ardilla. ....

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