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COM The Colbert Report October 26, 2012

Happy wednesday. Folks, lets get straight to it. We have no time to waste here because folks, huge news. Were always looking to bring you the biggest election story. And rumors started monday about a gamechanging october surprise. Donald trump now claims to have a bombshell announcement about president obama. A major announcement from donald trump coming today, and why it might change your vote in the president ial election. I have something very very big. Its very big. Bigger than anyone would know. Its going to be very big, i know one thing you will cover it in a very big fashion. Stephen yes, board up your windows, stock up on canned meats this will be the biggest, classiest, most devastating election gamechanger in the Human History of time. Okay . Think teapot dome, only the teapot is encrusted with gold and were using diamond tea bags. [ laughter ] the speculation was rampant. Was it the longrumored obama divorce papers . Pro ....

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COM The Colbert Report October 25, 2012

Stephen tonight, questions about the libya crisis. Could it have been prevented with bayonets and horses . [ laughter ] plus, a gop Senate Candidate puts his foot in his mouth. I hope it wasnt in an airport bathroom. And i hope it was a foot. [ laughter ] and my guest Anthony Everitt is an expert on ancient roman culture. Or so he claims anyone who could contradict him is dead [ laughter ] only seven days until halloween but i tell my kids its ten. I get some great deals on costumes. [ laughter ] this is the colbert report [the colbert report theme music playing] [cheers and applause] [crowd chanting stephen] welcome to the report. Good to have you with us. [cheers and applause] happy wednesday. Folks, lets get straight to it. We have no time to waste here because folks, huge news. Were always looking to bring you the biggest election story. And rumors started monday about ....

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COM The Colbert Report October 25, 2012

Stephen yes, board up your windows, stock up on canned meats this will be the biggest, classiest, most devastating election gamechanger in the Human History of time. Okay . Think teapot dome, only the teapot is encrusted with gold and were using diamond tea bags. [ laughter ] the speculation was rampant. Was it the longrumored obama divorce papers . Proof that obamas white half is also black . [ laughter ] no, even bigger. Trump dropped a tenmegatrump bombshell. If barack obama opens up and gives his College Records and applications; and if he gives his passport applications and records; i will give to a charity of his choice inner city children in chicago, american cancer society, aids research, anything he wants a check, immediately, for five Million Dollars. One caveat the records must be given by october 31st at 5 0 ....

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COM The Colbert Report October 25, 2012

Costumes. [ laughter ] this is the colbert report [the colbert report theme music playing] [cheers and applause] [crowd chanting stephen] welcome to the report. Good to have you with us. [cheers and applause] happy wednesday. Folks, lets get straight to it. We have no time to waste here because folks, huge news. Were always looking to bring you the biggest election story. And rumors started monday about a gamechanging october surprise. Donald trump now claims to have a bombshell announcement about president obama. A major announcement from donald trump coming today, and why it might change your vote in the president ial election. I have something very very big. Its very big. Bigger than anyone would know. Its going to be very big, i know one thing you will cover it in a very big fashion. Stephen yes, board up your windows, stock up on canned meats this will be the biggest, classiest, most devastating election gamechanger in the Human H ....

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COM The Daily Show With Jon Stewart October 25, 2012

Thats. Huh. Huh. I apologize. That was a hippo spraying its own [bleeped] through its tail. Again, i. I dont know how i ended up confusing these images. Look, lets face facts, were tired as hell of covering all of these important electoral developments anyway. So tonight we thought wed focus on a different, perhaps more interesting topic. To that end, we will have on as our guest author and medal of honor recipient dakota meyer, and well also take a look at some. [cheering and applause] what we think. Take a look at what some of what we think are important veterans issues, because as divided as america, is, there are still a couple things we agree on. One, popcorn is corn, so for dietary purpose, it does count as a vegetable. And number two. The publics voice is clear. 85 of americans polled by cnn in january said preventing cuts in Veterans Benefits is more important than reducing the deficit. Jon wait, who are the [bleeped], ....

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