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And, yeah, we don t want to get boxed out in here. so fingers crossed we can work down this box canyon at river level. there s only one way to know, and it s to kind of commit into this canyon. but it s scary [ bleep ]. that s one of the reasons that we re here doing this river and other people haven t, is we have to drop into these gorges where we don t know how well we re going to be able to retreat. you don t know until you go, and hopefully you don t go too far. we had no other choice but to put nouria and i in our kayaks and just hope that one of us was going to get through. if you swim and you lose gear, it s game over. like i don t even know what would happen. ....
We had our worst blowup and we had our worst communication, when it just felt like this 5-year-old really precious friendship to me had totally deteriorated, i walked into the jungle to try to like clear myself. because i was trying to dry out my feet, i slipped and took a machete to the finger. [ bleep ]! oh, no. shit. ah! i cut my finger real bad. i saw ben cruising down the river with blood streaming down his finger. his pants were stained. his feet were deep red with blood. i felt like in cutting my hand, it was like this physical karmatic manifestation of the issue that had developed between nouria and i. you re out here alone. don t worry about it. you re alone. don t worry. ooh, she s a bleeder. ....
[ bleep ]. hold on! nouria bobbles my boat for a second over a river that would kill you if you slipped in there. i just [ bleep ] lose my mind. i start cussing like a sailor. easy, easy, easy. when you re in these group dynamics, when somebody is pushing, somebody else is pulling. it s like a marriage on acid. it s so intense. it s really hard on the team to run such a stacked, scary, consequential stretch of river. i get that. i totally get it. for me, that s a situation i don t like being in, when the communication breaks down and you re in a dangerous place. being one as a team is what i want, one way or another, or we re not going to go down this river. ....
this river s gradient, which is the steepness and how much it drops, the highest percentage is about 12%. there s a whole lot of 7%. and just to put this into perspective, most of the hardest runs in the world are around 4% to 5% gradient . whoo! cold start. nouria has us at 3,200 meters. ....
at the end of the day when we had our worst blowup and we had our worst communication, when it just felt like this 5-year-old really precious friendship to me had totally deteriorated, i walked into the jungle to try to clear myself. because i was trying to dry out my feet, i slipped and took a machete to the finger. oh, no. shit. ah! i cut my finger real bad. i saw ben cruising down the river with bloodst streaming do his finger. his pants were stain. his feet were deep red with blood. i felt like in cutting my hand, it was like this physical karm attic manifestation of the issue that had developed between nouria and i. you re out here alone. don t worry about it. you re alone. don t worry. ....