‘Scuse me while I kiss this guy’ – Purple Haze by Jimi Hendrix
The founding father of misheard mumbling, this mishearing turns a confusing song about tripping on acid into one where Hendrix politely excuses himself from conversation to briefly experiment with his sexuality. In short, it transforms standard wanky rock into an etiquette-conscious gay anthem. Transgressive and superior.
‘Kickin’ the dancing queen’ – Dancing Queen by ABBA
The world’s greatest disco Swedes were less great at enunciating, and nobody had earnestly claimed to ‘dig’ something since Ted Heath was in office. And when you consider the titular queen had brought a tambourine to the club, it makes all the more sense that Agnetha and Anni-Frid would want to kick shit out of this smug 17-year-old.
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