Out politicians were dirtbags after we elected them . [ laughter ] i dont know the results yet. The polls just closed. I do know that roy moore, he shouldnt even be in im not talking about the senate race. I mean the human race. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] its mind boggling. Today he rode a horse named sassy to his polling place. [ laughter ] young girls love ponies, i guess. I dont know. [ laughter ] theres been plenty of opposition to roy moore even from within his own party. The other republican senator from alabama spoke out against him and said he did not vote for him. He would not vote for him. President trumps daughter ivanka spoke out against him. She said theres a special place in hell for people who prey on children. And their dad was like, yes, but before that, theres a special place for him in the senate. By me. [ laughter ] so there are rumblings, if he wins, Republican Leaders might not even put roy moore on any committees. Which would be roy moore could become the first person to be banned from the Senate Budget committee and the mall. Both of those things. [ laughter ] they held a rally last night [ cheers and applause ] the Moore Campaign had a rally. In midland city. Where roys wife kayla moore, who weve not seen much of, made it very clear that contrary to what you see on the fake news, she and her husband are not bigots. In fact, quite the contrary. Fake news would tell that you we dont care for jews. I tell you all this because ive seen it all so i want to set the record straight while theyre here. One of our attorneys is a jew. G arent actors. That really happened, those are people. One of their attorneys is a jew its like usually when she says that word, she whispers it. Now all of a sudden she has a mike in her hand and it comes blasting out. The only time you should be hitting the word jew that hard when is its followed by manji, right . [ cheers and applause ] and take a look at this. Maybe the most remarkable part of this very remarkable speech is that she has notes. Shes got that jew line is something she wrote down. Can you imagine what she might have said if she were winging it . Im going to take the word dirty out before jew. I think it would go down a little bit smoother. [ applause ] and by the way she didnt stop there. Now that she had the jews in her pocket, mrs. Moore took time to highlight her husbands support of the africanamerican community. When he first took office as chief justice many years ago, he brought with him three people, two were black. And one of them is here tonight. Jimmy flavor flav that clock is about to get set way back. Then roy himself got up there to say a few words about his wife and somehow managed to make the night even more awkward. I appreciate her so much. Shes been a good mother. She has closer contact with the kids than i do. Jimmy well, i dont know. According to the security guards at the mall, you and the kids were pretty close. Then, and i know it is almost impossible to believe theres more but there is. Then one of roys old buddies who served with him in vietnam told the story about a night one of their fellow soldiers took them to a brothel. Im guessing this guy didnt run this anecdote by anyone before sharing it. He took us to this place which turned out to be a brothel. We walked inside. I can tell you what i saw but i dont want to. It was clear to us what kind of place it was. And roy turned to me, in less time than it took for someone to come up to us. And there were certainly pretty girls, and they were girls. They were young. Some were probably very young. I dont know. I dont remember. I wasnt there long enough. Roy said to me, we shouldnt be here, im leaving. Or words to that effect. In fact, i think those were his exact words. Jimmy wow, so he as hero, it turns out. [ applause ] hey, bill, got any good stories about roy you can share . [ laughter ] got one about some child prostitutes he didnt have sex with. Thats positive. Right . Thats like defending o. J. By saying i was in a room with him once and he didnt kill anyone. What a group this is. And there is the capper. A spokes man for the Moore Campaign was on cnn with jake tapper. You know when they call someone a mouth breather . This man has not made use of his nostrils since probably 1984. Judge moore has also said that he doesnt think a muslim member of congress should be allowed to be in congress. Why . Under what because you have to swear on the bible. When you are before i had to do it. Im an elected official. Three terms. I had to swear on a bible. You have to swear on a bible to be an elected official in the United States of america. He alleges that a muslim cannot do that ethically, swearing on the bible. You dont have to actually swear on a christian bible. You can swear on anything really. I dont know if you knew. That you can swear on a jewish bible. Bible oh, no, i swore on the bible. Ive double it three times. Im sure you have. Im sure youve picked a bible. But the law is not that you have to swear on a christian bible. Thats not the law. [ laughter ] you dont know that . All right. I dont know i know that donald trump did it when we made him president. Because hes christian and he picked it. Thats what he wanted to swear in on. Ted crockett with the Moore Campaign, thank you very much for being here. Thank you, sir, merry christmas. Jimmy merry christmas. By the way, merry christmas, jake tapper happens to be jewish. So thats the spokesman for the Moore Campaign. They called themselves morons. Did you know that . [ laughter ] we have a great show for you tonight. We have music from geazy and halsey are here with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] the director of a really great new movie called the shape of water. Guillermo del toro is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and Dwayne Johnson is here with us, too. And ill tell you something. Im glad [ cheers and applause ] in times like these, sometimes you just want someone to hold you in your arms and sing the moana soundtrack. [ laughter ] by the way, we have something fun planned for later. They did a study at Cambridge University that said sheep are smart enough to recognize celebrity faces. So they show a sheep a picture of a famous person, thats president obama. And then at the sheep eight out of times will go to the celebrity. So tonight well find out if it works on a reallife celebrity. [ laughter ] Dwayne Johnson has agreed to participate in this experiment, and so has the sheep, so were all set. [ cheers and applause ] that will be later on in the show. Christmas is less than two weeks away. Tonight is the first night of hanukkah. For those who dont know, the story is judah macabees cell phone only had enough charge for it was down to one bar but it ended up staying charged for eight nights. He was able to check instagram and everything and hanukkah was born. Sorry about that i dont have a jew lawyer to teach me this stuff. [ laughter ] [ applause ] do you know about the elf on the shelf . Elf on a shelf is tearing our family apart right now. We forget to move it almost every night. We have to sneak in in the morning and try we convinced our daughter that the elf is spying on her, reporting back to santa. So she has this little rat staring at her all night. Its a Destructive Force in the home. It really is. But fortunately there is a new little sentry for children of all religions based on a Popular Series on hbo. This Holiday Season, say goodbye to elf on a shelf. Start an exciting new christmas tradition with lanister on the banister. He will see to it that your children behave. Winter is coming. No one can escape the king slayers watchful eye. You steal that candy and ill chop your hand off. Like this forget milk and cookies. Thats not the lanister way. Oh mutton jamie will teach your kids so many valuable lessons. I once knew a man who broke his promise. Soon after, him and his entire family were invited to a wedding. At that wedding all the doors were locked so no one could escape. Then they were all slaughtered. Their bodies scored by arrows, sliced open by daggers, throats slit. That great hall became an ocean of blood. Now give your sister back her hatchimal. Youll notice the difference almost immediately. Thanks, lanister on the banister. Well, hello you know, you remind me of my sister. Your complete satisfaction is guaranteed. Call today to order lanister on the banister, four easy install manies of 19. 99. Lannister always pays his installment. If you order now, get targaryen in the aquarium for free. Available at walgreens jimmy thank you for that. Well take a break. When we come back from the break, weve gone through many of them and well sing aloud the best clip, the 2017 clip of the year. It will be awarded when we come back so stick around. [ cheers and applause ] give joy, get joy at kohls and get kohls cash for you give joy with fine fragrances an American Girl doll or Diamond Jewelry and youll get kohls cash presents for them, kohls cash for you and starting thursday, stores are open 24 hours. Give joy, get joy at kohls you are a city city wall, city wall she could be dancing down a hall, dancing down a hall were turning heads, were turning heads, were turning heads, oh yeah and nothing can stop us now what are we doinget for thwith our lives . Nd moo. You got fired . No, i quit. Its fine. [ sigh ] aw, come on. I would do anything to sing with you guys again. One last show together. [ all cheering ] it doesnt seem like a disaster waiting to happen. Lets accafinish this. [ vocalizing ] what a beautiful group. Everyone of them going nowhere. Pitch perfect 3. Rated pg13. Where you get the best price for unlimited. vo switch and get four lines of unlimited for 25 per month per line with the fifth line free. Thats 50 off verizon, at t, and tmobile. And this Holiday Season get 50 off samsungs newest phones. For people with hearing loss, sprint. Works for me. Visit sprintrelay. Com. Jimmy welcome back to the show. Dwayne johnson, Guillermo Del Toro, geazy and halsey are here. Every december we look back fondly on the greatest clips weve collected over the year. Clips checked by four selfless tv watchers. These guys sacrifice everything. Their hyme, their personal hygiene, any hope of a meaningful relationship is gone because they watch television 12 hours a day, seven days a week. Tonight, thanks to these filthy and determined individuals, we will name one of the diamonds they uncovered clip of the year for 2017. Thats right. [ cheers and applause ] and the nominees are not so smart device. Play ticker ticker. Bobby, can you talk do you want to hear a station for porn detected. Hot chick and the chick girl no, no, no [ bleep ] alexa, stop master gator. [ speaking spanish ] jimmy team playa i always wish to be in one of this, and i got it. So thank you very much for this. For giving me this. And i appreciate my fans, also. My wife and my girlfriend. I mean my wife. Sorry to say. Im so sorry. My wife. I love you so much. Jimmy hurricane donald. Puerto rico. We love puerto rico. Jimmy on the nose jimmy and this just in i would argue this is a triumph of democracy. Scandals happen all the time. The question is how do we as democracies respond to those scandals. And what will it mean for the wider region . I think one of your children has just walked in. I mean, Shifting Sands in the region, do you think relations with the north may change . I would be surprised if they do. Pardon me. My apologies. What will it do for the region . My apologies. Sorry. North korea south koreas policy toward the north has been severely limited jimmy wow so many wonderful clips. Its so hard to make a decision like this. But ladies and gentlemen, the clip of the year for 2017 is can i get a drumroll, please. Oh, my goodness. On the nose [ cheers and applause ] wow and here to accept the award for clip of the year, all the way from grand rapids, michigan, mary crenwinkle, everyone [ cheers and applause ] jimmy i guess well just mail this to her home. Congratulations to mary and all of our finest. Tonight on the show, geazy and halsey is here, Guillermo Del Toro and well be back with Dwayne Johnson dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by the makers of glade limited Edition Fragrances. Visit glade. Com. Asts crowd [laughing, cheering] to presents a mi familia que lo es todo. To being right here, right now, with you. Sfx dog bark. And you. Toasting dad i guess what im trying to say is, heres to family. Were proud to bring your family amazing value every day. T. J. Maxx. Marshalls. Homegoods. Family is the greatest gift. Sourced entirely in france, for a character all its own. Grey goose. Give the worlds best tasting vodka. Something inside me has always been there. But now its awake. The force is yours. The last jedi ar stickers only on the google pixel camera. Before we hit the beach, ive we cant stay here why . Flat toilet paper ill never get clean way ahead of you. Aww. Compared to charmin ultra strong, other toilet paper. Falls flat. Its washclothlike texture helps clean better. Its four times stronger and you can use less. Beautiful view. Thanks to charmin. And you, honeybear awwwww. We all go. Why not enjoy the go with charmin . Jimmy hello there. Welcome back to the show. Tonight on the show, one of my top two favorite guillermos. He is director and writer of a terrific new movie called the shape of water. Guillermo del toro is here. Then, this album is called the beautiful and damned. Geazy with halsey from the mercedesbenz outdoor stage. Tomorrow night, Terry Bradshaw will join us. Yvette nicole brown will be here. Well have music from john legend. Sheila e. Will be sitting in with the cletones. And on thursday, will smith, pharrell williams, and music from n. E. R. D. So please join us. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest could beat up every member of the Screen Actors Guild and their agents too. He is an internationally beloved superstar with a new movie called jumanji welcome to the jungle. It opens in theaters a week from tomorrow. Please welcome Dwayne Johnson. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, thank you. Thank you. Jimmy i have to say when i see you walk out here, i think why dont we work out together . Why dont we get in the gym [ laughter ] you never return my texts. Im constantly saying, jimmy, lets work out, lets do this. Jimmy i feel we could do it. I could learn some things from you, you could learn some things from me. Yeah, we just make it work, just me you. Jimmy what times do you work out . Generally around 5 00 a. M. 5 30. Jimmy oh, forget it. Never mind. Forget it, yeah. Jimmy is there a cot in the gym . I could take a little nap while youre working out. A little tanning booth in there. You can tan. Jimmy congratulations, by the way. You mentioned on social media that you and your girlfriend are expecting a second daughter. We are, thank you, my friend. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy congratulations. Thank you. Very excited. Very excited. Jimmy very exciting news. Ive got some strong swimmers, jimmy. Jimmy i would expect nothing less. Thats right. Jimmy i wouldnt even get in a pool with you for fear. The first pregnant man, yes, jimmy kimmel. Jimmy somehow. But do you, before you announce something on social media, something personal like this, do you contact every member of your family to make sure they know from you before they know from everyone else . Well, family is so important to me. So naturally, i contact no one. Not at all. Jimmy nobody . No. Maybe five people knew. That was it. It was tightly locked down. Jimmy wow and we sent out the post announcing the pregnancy, and it was actually, it was the day of the premiere. The jumanji premiere. All afternoon, all night, the phone was blowing up. You get a mix of, congratulations, were so excited for you and the other 50 is, why didnt i know . Jimmy who was most upset in your family . My mom. [ laughter ] jimmy your mom im only kidding. Im only kidding im kidding. Im not that heartless, no. It was everyone but my mom. Jimmy thats very exciting. Were very, very excited. Jimmy are you ready for this . Do you feel prepared . I feel good. I was raised by women all my life basically. And this is my third daughter. Jimmy and now youre raising more women. Surrounded by women. Surrounded by the estrogen. Bring on the estrogen, more. Jimmy youre also, another major life event. Youre getting a star on the hollywood walk of fame, which is right outside the theater. [ cheers and applause ] thats a big deal, right . Its a huge deal. So this is a good week and im really, really grateful this week. With the walk of fame, i got into this business 17 years ago. This will be my 18th year coming up in 2018. Had no clue what i was doing. The only thing i knew was what i was willing to do, put in my work with my own two hands. So i feel like this ceremony is a full circle thing. I cant wait to do and it i think it is right out here. Jimmy do you know what stars your star is near . I do. So the committee was excited to tell me on one side is Vince Mcmahon jimmy oh, really. Yes, who is my mentor and a father figure to me for many, many years. And on the other side, bruno mars. Jimmy who is also a father figure. Who is also like my son. [ laughter ] so it worked out to be a family affair. Jimmy oh, how about that, yeah. If you dont like where your thing is, you could probably just reach into the cement and rip it out and put it over mine if you wanted to. Oh, you have one. [ laughter ] i didnt know thats great. Jimmy lets ask that question again in a less insulting way. [ laughter ] got it. Okay, selfaction. Action. Hey you have a jimmy yeah, i have one. Oh, dude, great jimmy you know that. Thats right, yes i walk by it all the time. Jimmy i dont want to start trouble with you but we did have a little bit of a beef, as they call it. Thats what we call it in the streets, yes. Jimmy i saw an article in the news that said fanny pack sales had spiked. It became a new popular accessory. The most popular accessory for 2017. Absolutely. Jimmy and they attributed this spike to this photograph of you. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy from the old days. You said Vince Mcmahon was like a father figure to you. When you came out dressed like that, vince didnt say go back in your room and