An as tried passed by the earth, missed us by 26,000 miles. Which in space temples is close. In fact, the asteroid was planning to hit us, then it saw whats going on down here and said, you know what . Im going to keep going that way, i want no part of that. President trump this morning got to work doing the damage the asteroid couldnt. Today he signed an executive order that threatens to cripple the Affordable Care act, obamacare. Hes been very focused on doing this. He tweeted, since congress cant get its act together on health care, ill be using the power of the pen to give Great Health Care to many people fast. This is big, usually when trump uses the power of the pen its to declare bankruptcy. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] but he was so fired up, so fired up about this executive order, he almost forgot to sign it. We will have Great Health Care in our country. Thank you all very much. Appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you. Jimmy oh, yeah, all right. Thank at lot, mike pence. First thing the guy does all year, and its that. [ laughter ] meanwhile the g puerto ricos infrastructure was a disaster before hurricane maria, blaming them for their own financial problems, warning that the government wont be there to help them indefinitely. And also those paper towels . He wants those back. [ laughter ] he wrote, we cannot keep fema in puerto rico forever. Which, okay. But its been three weeks. He has hemorrhoids that last longer than that. [ laughter ] i dont know what what his problem with puerto rico is. Didnt he say he loves puerto rico . Puerto rico. We love puerto rico. Jimmy we do. 80 of puerto rico still doesnt have power and hes tapping on his watch. I feel like the only way to get donald trump to care about whats happening there is to add a hot puerto rican anchor lady to fox and friends. That might do it. Its especially crazy that this is the first thing he thinks about when he wakes up. He posted these tweets starting at 6 49 a. M. In fact, thats when he does most of his angry tweeting. I think, i gave this a lot of thought today, i think i have a plan to maybe put a dent in that. Because its dangerous. And the plan is this. A fin jet spinner. Okay . [ cheers and applause ] what i would like you to do is go in your kids rooms, grab all their fidget spinners, and send them to this address, the white house, 1600 pennsylvania avenue, weekend. Better yet, send them to his real address, the maralago golf club, 1100 south ocean boulevard, palm beach. [ cheers and applause ] lets do everything we can to keep those little fingers busy, give them something less destructive to do. Sorry, kids, but your country needs these, okay . Trumps chief of staff, general john kelly, had a rare press conference, i think it may have been his First Press Conference as chief of staff, to announce reports of his demise have been bigly exaggerated. I would just offer to you that although i read it all the time pretty consistently, im not quitting today. I dont believe, and i just talked to the president , i dont think im being fired today. And i am not so frustrated in this job that im thinking of leaving. Unless things change, im not quitting, im not getting fired, and i dont think theyll fire anyone tomorrow. Jimmy so you know what that means, right . Hes fired hes fired jimmy i did not see that coming. While were on the subject of firing things up, starting january 1 it will be legal to sell marijuana for Recreational Purposes in the state of california. [ cheers and applause ] and in anticipation of this, the state bureau of cannabis control has established rules for how marijuana can be delivered. If youre really lazy, you could get it delivered right to your house. But the rules state that deliveries must be made in person by an enclosed motor vehicle, which means no drones, means no motorcycles, i guess. But it also means that dozens of new Delivery Services are gearing up. Chief among those Delivery Services, a spinoff of a popular ridesharing company. First there was uber. Then uberx. Then uberpool. Uberselect. Uberblack. Uberlux. Now doober. Press of a button and one of our cars will be dispatched directly to your home. One of our friendly doober drivers will show up at your door with the pot youre too lazy to go get. Hey, man, open up did i order pizza . No, man. Im your doober. Oh, yeah, man thanks, dog. Come on in here. Hey, you got any weed . Yeah, i just scored some. [ laughter ] doober. Live the high life. Jimmy this is funny. This is from our abc affiliate in colorado springs. News channel 13. Where an innocent story about a denver bronco with an unusual name gave rise to an even more unusual new position. The broncos tight end jake butt cant wait to play. Butt tore his acl nine months ago and hes been working very hard sense to get back on the field. The hardest part for me has been jimmy well, thats all the squats . That is the kind of filth that america does not need right now. Unfortunately, were here to clean it up. It is thursday night which means its time to bleep and blur the big tv moments of the week whether they need it or not. It is this week in unnecessary censorship. Lets start with health care. I saw that tweet this morning and started stroking my [ bleep ] trying to figure out exactly what hes referring to. We want lower taxes. Bigger paychecks. And [ bleep ] jobs for american truckers. How off the don you [ bleep ] . [ bleep ] every 14 days. A good number at the white house. But i dont really want to [ bleep ] him because melania is there. Nfl coaches out of a job after a video emerged of him [ bleep ]ing a white [ bleep ]ing. Butt day, do we need that . I guess we do. Lets get [ bleep ]ed married couple from virginia took on the top prize at the 18th annual north american wife [ bleep ]ing championship. Do your research and realize its going to be this big, and maybe you love big [ bleep ]s like me. Now we got a whole new breed of [ bleep ]s, folks, soft [ bleep ]s. He came back, pushed me off my chair, and [ bleep ]ed me. Where . In my face. Where . Fist or hand . Fist. Hes getting worked on. Lets hope thats nothing serious. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy were going to take a break. When we come back, i have some alarming internet pornography news and im going to do the unthinkable and put a Pumpkin Spice pizza into my mouth. Stick around, well be right back when i look at you, i look back on my life and i know what it was for. What if i struggled. What if i sacrificed. And what if i swore id succeed. So you could wake up one day with the choice to be anything you wanted. Well then, my great granddaughter. It would all be worth it. Gointoilet paper run, need anything . Hair spray bark snickers bitesized. Im on it. Get new, lower prices on thousands of items. Target run done. 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Maybe its time to be your own . Transform your career with strayer universitys mba program today. Lets get it. Jimmy hello and welcome back to the show. Kate hudson, Jared Padalecki and comedian ismail loutfi all on the way. Were on our way to brooklyn next week. If i dont make it back to l. A. , know i died doing what i love, eating pizza until my heart exploded. [ cheers and applause ] i dont know if you heard, theres a damaging computer virus going around. Its infecting millions of people who visited the website pornhub which im told is a repository for adult film. [ laughter ] do you know this . Have any of you been on that website . Lets get a camera on whoever that was. Pornhub is the 20th most popular website in the United States, gets about 80 million visitors a day which is crazy. Theres a quick test they do to find out if you have the virus on your computer. First they ask, are you a man . And if you said yes, then yeah, you have it on your computer. [ laughter ] heres how you get the virus. A tab would pop up saying there was a critical update, then if you clicked that update, the virus would be downloaded to your computer. In other words, you got the virus by being stupid. [ laughter ] and now when you take the computer to the geek squad to get it fixed they absolutely know what you did. [ laughter ] probably best to throw the computer out and start over. If you did contract a virus, its your responsibility to contact other websites you visited, let them know they need to get tested, okay . [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] speaking of troubling things, this is a cautionary tale. Instigated by what i believe is the greatest threat to the United States in the present day. Someone reported an unusual smell on the third floor of crystal ray Jesuit High School yesterday. It got so bad the hazmat team was called out to test for toxins. It turned out to be a Pumpkin Spice air freshener. Jimmy uhhuh. The damn pumpkin spicing of america continues. And the president does nothing about it. [ laughter ] this started with lattes. Now we have Pumpkin Spice everything. They even have Pumpkin Spice dog treats. Organic nuggets. Even the dog on the package looks depressed by this. [ laughter ] theres one thing dogs love, its pumpkin. Of all the Pumpkin Spiced atrocities and there are many out there, this to me is the most atrocious. This is a Pumpkin Spice pizza. I spoke about this a couple of weeks ago. As a result of that, the restaurant chain that makes it, villa italian kitchen, reached out and said, try it before you make fun of it. Their c. O. O. Offered to fly out here to bring one to me. Im nothing but if not fair, you know that about me, right . Guillermo yeah, jimmy. Jimmy thank you. Even though it goes against everything i stand for, even though it shakes me to my Italian American core, i said, yes, you can fly out here and i will try it, i feel like i owe it to them and myself to at least give Pumpkin Spice pizza a chance. Its Pumpkin Spice its Pumpkin Spice it just isnt right its Pumpkin Spice pizza pie with Pumpkin Spice are they out of their minds its Pumpkin Spice and here we go, heres the Pumpkin Spice pizza coming out of the car and into the studio. Jimmy and here he is, the c. O. O. [ cheers and applause ] how are you doing, andrew . Jimmy kimmel, how are you . Jimmy this is the here, let me put this right over here. Sure. Jimmy there we go. Okay. All right. Jimmy, jimmy that hurts, that hurts. Thanks for coming. No, i will try this. I need one commitment from you. Jimmy what is the commitment . I need a twobite commitment. So much flavor. I want to make sure you get it all. Jimmy okay, all right, all right. I am going to make another commitment to you. Im going to be honest. If i like it, ill tell you i like it. If i dont like it ill tell you. But i do have a couple of questions. Why is number one. Why not . Its all about fun. And best way to get on the Jimmy Kimmel Live show is jimmy is to make something terrible . Exactly. [ laughter ] jimmy yes. Tasting is believing. Jimmy do your children know what daddy is doing at work . They do, we try to keep it very low key. Jimmy all right, you hold that. Lets reveal it. Have a look at it. It got a little bit shaken up. Thats beautiful. Jimmy so im examining it. Im going to have a smell of it. Is there a special way to consume this . Very new york style, you got it right there. Jimmy okay, very good. Here we go. [ cheers and applause ] you wouldnt want to get something that on the end there. Hold on one more. Jimmy let me swallow it first. [ laughter ] okay. Hm hm, hm hm you like it, dont you . Jimmy no. [ laughter ] [ applause ] jimmy well, its not terrible. Well take that. Jimmy but but you know what . Order the regular pizza from them. [ cheers and applause ] its like you dumped a pumpkin pie onto a pizza. Thats a good thing. Jimmy that is not a good then. Get some to guillermo, hell give it a try, well see what he thinks. Thank you. Thanks so much. [ cheers and applause ] jimmy it was better than i thought it was going to be. I gave it a 5. All right . But dont do that anymore, okay . Oh, hes gone, all right. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] tonight on the show, Jared Padalecki is here. Comedian Ismael Loutfi is here. And well be right back with kate hudson. [ cheers and applause ] dicky portions of Jimmy Kimmel Live are brought to you by coke zero sugar. Woman every year we take a girls trip. Remember nashville . Both kimchi bbq amazing honkytonk i cant believe you got us tickets i did. I didnt pay for anything. sigh you never do. Send me what i owe. Ive got it. I mean, you did find money to buy those boots. alert beep are you serious . Is that why you dont like them . Those boots could make a unicorn cry. Yeah tears of joy. groan settle up with your friends on october 17th with the bank of america mobile banking app. Settle up with your friends on october 17th grves in your sandwich . Do you always put cheezit of course theyre chips. Chips. Plus sandwich equals the perfect lunch. Ooooh. Dont forget the pickle. Its kind of a big dill. Cheezit grooves. Chips made with 100 real cheese. Dang right its a chip sold for eight thousand five . Hundred unicorn in rouge. Congratulations, sir. When you need help fast, call us with td asap on the td bank app and skip to the front of the line. Hi alex, i have your account pulled up. How can i help . Oh, uh. Great. Are you seeing this charge from an auction house . That doesnt look right. Ill take care of that. Oh good. Thank you. Because when you need help, you need it asap. Jimmy hi there, welcome to the show. Tonight, from the longrunning show supernatural on the cw, Jared Padalecki is here. Then, a funny man you can see him at the laughing skull lounge in atlanta november 9th and 12th. Comedian Ismael Loutfi. Next week, we will be joining those of you who live in new york for five shows from the Brooklyn Academy of music. B. A. M. We have great guests lined up including david letterman, amy schumer, howard stern, tracy morgan, billy joel, woody harrelson, cardi b, dj khaled, lcd soundsystem, and more. And this is exciting we have our own twitter emoji to commemorate our trip. If you send a tweet using the hashtag kimmelinbrooklyn or just kimmel, a special emoji pops up. Ill show you how it works. This is going to take about a half hour, okay . Dear brooklyn. Oops. I look forward to being in you next week. [ laughter ] kimmelinbrooklyn. [ cheers and applause ] you see that . It just comes right up. All right. Is the show done now . Okay, all right. Our first guest tonight comes from a family of movie stars. Shes a golden globe winner herself who, starting tomorrow, can be seen in the courtroom drama based on real american history. Called marshall. Please welcome kate hudson [ cheers and applause ] jimmy looks good. Weve had a similar haircut. Jimmy in about three weeks well have exactly the same haircut. Exactly, exactly. Jimmy it looks good. You did it for a role . I did, i did a film with sia. Jimmy sia directed a film. The singer songwriter. She directed a film and i starred and it and she was like, well, im going to share your head. Jimmy did she tell you beforehand youd have to shave your head for the written . Yeah, its written. The characters kind of a shaved head kind of girl. Jimmy how does it work when a person your caliber has her head shaved . Do you pay a hairstylist 400 to do it . Yeah. [ laughter ] hes out there, easy day of work these days. Jimmy yeah, and are you enjoying having it . I love it. It was funny too. When i first started i didnt think about it because it was the role, you know . It was like, oh, lets do this. And then and then as we were shaving it, and being my little one and sia were doing the honors of shaving head jimmy oh, really . How olds he . Hes 6. Jimmy you let a 6yearold shave your head . Well, whats the worst that could happen. It was a number two so it just jimmy he made a number two . [ laughter ] no. Jimmy i see. The number 2. Jimmy i see, gotcha. You couldnt really go wrong. I didnt thin it until it started, like what is the shape of my head going to look like . Jimmy right. Because that was really then i started i really started to panic. I was like, if this is not, you know and then sia was like, i know its going to be round. I know it. [ laughter ] and all of a sudden it was like a birthing. It was like, its a boy its round [ applause ] jimmy thank goodness. Well, i just, you know. Jimmy you dont want to have a big dent in your head or something, right . It was possible. It was possible it could have been anything. You know you know. I dont know. It would have been a weird profile in the movie. Jimmy yeah, it would have. If it was, you know, not so we were pleasantly, you know, surprised. Jimmy who would have imagined your head would also be perfect. [ cheers and applause ] you know what i do want to ask you about, what is your position on Pumpkin Spice . Oh, yeah, i can actually i think im smelling it still. Jimmy its probably in my teeth. Yeah. Yeah. You know jimmy, i love Pumpkin Spice. Jimmy oh. Like i really love it. I